Originally Posted by ilovethelakings
So here is my idea:
Open on two old men having coffee and smoking in a rundown cafe. Their tattered clothing and withered features suggest that they have had very hard lives as of late.
Old Man 1: Did you hear?
Old Man 2: Did I hear what?
OM1: Madge was spotted wandering around Pine Street this afternoon.
OM2: You don't say?
OM1: Indeed, I do.
OM2: But didn't she die last April.
OM1: Yeah, but she's back now.
OM2: Good for her. I always thought she was quite a dame.
The old men pause for a moment, take a sip of their respective coffees, and take a couple puffs off their cigarettes. Something off in the distance catches the second old man's attention.
Old Man 2: Well what do you know? There goes good ol' Madge right now.
Old Man 1: You don't say?
The old men sigh in unison.
Old Man 1: Guess it's time to go back to work.
Old Man 2: I guess so. I was really hoping to at least finish my coffee, but so goes life.
OM1: Sometimes I envy them.
OM2: Tell me about it.
Each old man then goes on to take a shotgun from a dufflebag near their feet. They stand up and start making their way towards Madge.
Screen fades to black and title of the film comes up with the tag line below it:
Everybody's a soldier.
This is then followed by the sounds of two shot gun blasts, a short pause, and the voice of one of the old men saying, "Damn zombies."
Commercial ends with the release date of the film.
Maybe add something to capture the spirit of the backwoods hick zombie-huntin' with cases of Budweiser as depicted in Romero's Night of the Living Dead?
"I don't have time for this sh*t, kid."
The beatings will continue until morale improves.
Join me in boycotting all Poopnini products!