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Old 01-22-2013, 05:19 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Got a pack molestor busted, card Karma pays me back pronto + my 1st contest!

So I popped in to Target for 3 things: Detergent, dryer sheets and cards. Figured no matter what I was going home with 2 out of the 3.

So I got my Gain original scent & Downey April Fresh sheets, and cruised over to the card section. Low & behold, there is your not so friendly neighborhood pack molestor in all his glory, gram scale & all. Only today, he's doing something different.

I see that he's parked in front of a freshly opened box of Prizm, as the wrapper is sitting on the shelf next to him. Obviosuly caught up in the Prizm money making craze, the son of a b__ch is popping the bottoms of the packs to check for greens!

I watch him for 3-4 packs, and wander over to the customer service desk to report him. Within a minute, security is there talking to the guy. He gets all loud with the security dude, and about 5 minutes later starts to walk away. And here's where it starts to get really interesting...

As the guy is power walking out the front door, the Police are walking in. The security yells to grab him, and they do. While the cops are dragging him back in to the store, pack after pack is falling out of his coat. Prizm, Chrome football, Crown Royale football and some rack packs of various sports. Probably 15-20 packs are laying on the ground, right in front of the door.

While this is all going down, I'm still standing over by the card section. After watching this d-bag get taken in the back, I'm feeling pretty good, like I did a little something for the hobby. Obviously, he'll be at the next Target tomorrow, but I'm sure he wont be back to this one for a while.

So I'm taking a look at whats to offer, and I see theres some Prizm that didnt get opened. So I grab the 8 unopened packs, a Diet Moutain Dew and go check out. I get in the car & call my girlfriend to tell her about the shananigans.

Pulled these from the 8 packs while on the phone.

Johnson 1st pack, Davis in last pack. These things really are quite nice in person.

I had to explain to the GF that the Davis is a $100 or so card, and she joked that hitting it was payment for being a card crime fighter. So here comes the contest part of this post...

To show my GF just how much we hate scammers, searchers and the like, whoever comes up with the most creative card super hero name gets the Orlando Johnson. Bonus CARDsiderations will be given for any artwork/catch phrases included.

Entries will be accepted until 5pm tomorrow (1/23). Please post your super hero name & artwork/catch phrase. The GF will decide the winner & I'll post the winners name tomorow night.

Thanks for reading. We're both looking forward to seeing everyones responses.
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Last edited by slugger3469; 01-23-2013 at 10:17 AM.
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Old 01-22-2013, 05:22 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Pretty sneaky.. let him be the patsie and then you take all the greens. Nice to meet you Doctor Evil
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Old 01-22-2013, 05:22 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Great story!

And really enjoyed the use of the word 'shenanigans'
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Old 01-22-2013, 05:22 PM   #4 (permalink)
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HAIKUMAN! Bam...contest over...I win.
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Old 01-22-2013, 05:26 PM   #5 (permalink)
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I'm still laughing from your describing the detergent and dryer sheets...LMAO!
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Old 01-22-2013, 05:29 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Jumanji Joe, Pack-Searcher Killer.
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Old 01-22-2013, 05:32 PM   #7 (permalink)
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The Crusty Cardboard Creeper

I love stories like these
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Old 01-22-2013, 06:24 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hotbox View Post
The Crusty Cardboard Creeper

I love stories like these
How bout just Card Creeper.

Cool Story by the way!
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Old 01-22-2013, 06:27 PM   #9 (permalink)
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The Pack Pervert Preventer...stopping pack searching one molester at a time. You are the man.
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Old 01-22-2013, 06:29 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Him: The Green Prizm Pack Searching Pr*ck

Superhero Name: The Prizm Private
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Old 01-22-2013, 06:30 PM   #11 (permalink)
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The pack semaritan.
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Old 01-22-2013, 06:31 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jeebus_86 View Post
How bout just Card Creeper.

Cool Story by the way!
I wanted to add Crusty in there to describe lots of people at card shows. Unshowered, smelly, etc.
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Old 01-22-2013, 06:37 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Good job and great reward! Congrats!
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Old 01-22-2013, 07:02 PM   #14 (permalink)
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The Wax Watcher. He watches your wax so you don't have to!
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Old 01-22-2013, 07:06 PM   #15 (permalink)
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You are truly the Chris Hansen of Pack Searchers!! Congrats!!!
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Old 01-22-2013, 07:10 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Haha, great story! Wonder what happened to the dude though.
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Old 01-22-2013, 07:16 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Retail Ripper Man: Rips Retail the Right Way
No Searching Shenanigans Here!!
Defies Weighty Odds and Snitches on Scaley Packbenders

Screw it I'll end up writing a song about you.
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Old 01-22-2013, 07:18 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Great story and Kudos to you.

My superhero name is.......

The Packanator
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Old 01-22-2013, 07:27 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rudyjustinfarrell View Post
Pretty sneaky.. let him be the patsie and then you take all the greens. Nice to meet you Doctor Evil
Nice to see that my evil plans finally went according to plan. Muah ah ah ah ah ah

Now where's my friggin sharks with the friggin laser beams attached to there friggin heads??
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Old 01-22-2013, 08:04 PM   #20 (permalink)
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ThePackBusterBuster
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Old 01-22-2013, 08:08 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Cap'n No Searchy

Sounds better than it reads
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Old 01-22-2013, 08:54 PM   #22 (permalink)
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Captain Pack Protector


jesus having the hardest time spelling

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Old 01-22-2013, 09:12 PM   #23 (permalink)
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Wow, great story! The mysterious peek-a-green fighter (just when you thought that he's just grabbing Gain original scent & Downey April Fresh sheets, he's already got you on a chokehold.
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Old 01-22-2013, 09:14 PM   #24 (permalink)
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You win for most successful pack searcher bust ever well done.
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Old 01-22-2013, 09:18 PM   #25 (permalink)
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The pack burglar
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