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Old 03-16-2012, 11:45 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default The Real Me

My name is Joe.

I work as a forklift operator. I enjoy caffeine and chubby women. I don't care that the Japanese kill whales, and I like Cadillacs. I once threw a beer bottle at a man for stealing my seat at a party.

I like a good joke. I hate a sore loser. My favorite Southpark episode is "Scott Tenorman Must Die". I don't drink or use drugs, because I find that I'm enough trouble sober.

Good day.
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Old 03-16-2012, 11:49 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Mmmmmm your tears taste so good Scott
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Old 03-16-2012, 11:52 AM   #3 (permalink)
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My name is Jim (go figure).

I have a small penis but gigantic balls.

I'm a grower not a show'er. I have a Keurig and try to keep it to one cup per day (on my way out the door to work, usually). It's saved me probably $150 in Starbucks so far in 2012.

I have four brothers and sisters (Jenny, [Jim], John, Jacob, Jessica) - notice a pattern?

The last two women I've dated are named Laura. I've seen every episode of How I Met Your Mother more than 10 times (except for the most recent season, but don't worry, I will get there).

One time in high school my ex-girlfriend's mom called my mother and told her that I she had seen the scratch marks I put all over her daughter, and for me to never contact her again. This was funny, because I hadn't seen the girl in six months. Because of this event, my mom knows everything I've ever done that mothers should never know.

I hate pathological liars.
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Old 03-16-2012, 11:55 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lemur01 View Post
My name is Joe.

I work as a forklift operator. I enjoy caffeine and chubby women. I don't care that the Japanese kill whales, and I like Cadillacs. I once threw a beer bottle at a man for stealing my seat at a party.

I like a good joke. I hate a sore loser. My favorite Southpark episode is "Scott Tenorman Must Die". I don't drink or use drugs, because I find that I'm enough trouble sober.

Good day.
I'm skeptical.
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Old 03-16-2012, 11:55 AM   #5 (permalink)
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My name is Jim Shorty.

Lying is a sin to me.

I graduated Summa Cum Laude from Boston College in 1965.

I am from Virginia.

I have boy and girl parts upstairs and down.

I hate sports cards.

I had a cameo appearance on 'Everybody Loves Raymond'.
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Old 03-16-2012, 11:57 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mimi mo money View Post
I'm skeptical.
Its two different paragraphs.
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Old 03-16-2012, 01:24 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BostonNut View Post
My name is Jim Shorty.

Lying is a sin to me.

I graduated Summa Cum Laude from Boston College in 1965.

I am from Virginia.

I have boy and girl parts upstairs and down.

I hate sports cards.

I had a cameo appearance on 'Everybody Loves Raymond'.
I'm thinking at least 1 of these has to be true....Virginia? the Cameo? Or being transgender? Hmmmmmmmm which one?
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Old 03-16-2012, 01:44 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Quote:
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I'm thinking at least 1 of these has to be true....Virginia? the Cameo? Or being transgender? Hmmmmmmmm which one?
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Old 03-16-2012, 02:06 PM   #9 (permalink)
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My name is Justin
God Bless All
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Old 03-16-2012, 03:24 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lemur01 View Post
My name is Joe.

I work as a forklift operator. I enjoy caffeine and chubby women. I don't care that the Japanese kill whales, and I like Cadillacs. I once threw a beer bottle at a man for stealing my seat at a party.

I like a good joke. I hate a sore loser. My favorite Southpark episode is "Scott Tenorman Must Die". I don't drink or use drugs, because I find that I'm enough trouble sober.

Good day.
Hi Joe!
I once fired someone for not wearing their license while driving a forklift. I had to. He was warned 3 times before I got there and the whole liability issue is horrible to deal with.

I root for the Japanese Whaling fleet to sink the Bob Barker and the other Sea Sheppard eco-terrorists who try to stop them though I really see no need to kill the animals.

Bye Joe
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Old 03-16-2012, 03:24 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Thats not just chili. It's Mr. & Mrs. Tenorman chili...... My personal favorite is the Gary & Mingey episode but this runs a close 2nd


Quote:
Originally Posted by lemur01 View Post
My name is Joe.

I work as a forklift operator. I enjoy caffeine and chubby women. I don't care that the Japanese kill whales, and I like Cadillacs. I once threw a beer bottle at a man for stealing my seat at a party.

I like a good joke. I hate a sore loser. My favorite Southpark episode is "Scott Tenorman Must Die". I don't drink or use drugs, because I find that I'm enough trouble sober.

Good day.
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Old 03-16-2012, 03:41 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Wait, you don't drink or do drugs? Man, I just assumed all of your posts were in a drunken/drugged up stupor... Oh man, I'm surprised they let you operate a car, much less a forklift.
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Old 03-16-2012, 06:46 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by WilsonValdez View Post
Wait, you don't drink or do drugs? Man, I just assumed all of your posts were in a drunken/drugged up stupor... Oh man, I'm surprised they let you operate a car, much less a forklift.
Just because he doesn't drink or do drugs now, doesn't mean it's not still in his system from 5 years ago.
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Old 03-18-2012, 08:42 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WilsonValdez View Post
Wait, you don't drink or do drugs? Man, I just assumed all of your posts were in a drunken/drugged up stupor... Oh man, I'm surprised they let you operate a car, much less a forklift.
I donít think snorting LP gas is considered doing Drugs.
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Old 03-21-2012, 12:04 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jlzinck View Post

I root for the Japanese Whaling fleet to sink the Bob Barker and the other Sea Sheppard eco-terrorists who try to stop them though I really see no need to kill the animals.
I actually agree with this. I don't see how we oppose pirates but give these people a tv show and applaud them for being Eco-terrorists.
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Old 03-21-2012, 01:02 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dizzyduff13 View Post
I actually agree with this. I don't see how we oppose pirates but give these people a tv show and applaud them for being Eco-terrorists.
Probably because their terrorist attack of choice, is standing idly by and crying. Brutal pirates I tell ya.
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Last edited by lemur01; 03-21-2012 at 01:07 PM. Reason: i hate whales
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Old 03-21-2012, 01:03 PM   #17 (permalink)
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im addicted to kayden kross pron
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Old 03-21-2012, 06:45 PM   #18 (permalink)
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After I tell you about the real me you can be assured that I will not stalk the boards for more than the next 216 straight hours. My name is Henry and my on-line friends call me Hairy Hank. It just really bugs me when I am not taken seriously. Just because I shave my back once a month does not make me a freak. Some people would call me self-centered because I still make my mother bring me my grilled cheese in the basement. I buy the woman a used griddle on Ebay and do I hear a simple thank you? Of course not. Mothers these days! When I received my first troll doll as a child it was not a toy, it was an inspiration to what I would represent to the on-line community in 2012. I was once a Pen Pal with Chelsea Clinton who confided her deepest insecurities to me. My parents have since invested $160,000 in my college education so who says that is necessary to type in paragraphs. Those fine folks in the Occupy Movement are going to make it so I do not have to pay back my student loans! I think it would just be easier for me to host group breaks from my basement. Who took my Ritalin? Have I told you how much liars get me down in life? It is pretty low to come on a message board and pretend to be something that you are not. I had to search for hours to find the picture of the New Jersey FOP Decal in the front window of a house. I am starting to feel bad about that one so I would like to have a free card giveway. I am thinking of a number between 1 and 27,000,000. The first person to guess the number wins a special prize. One guess per day per member and this will be strictly enforced.
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Old 03-21-2012, 07:05 PM   #19 (permalink)
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I'll guess....2. Did I win?


Awesome post.
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Old 03-22-2012, 05:56 PM   #20 (permalink)
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mi nombre es dexter stuffins. mi pipi es muy grande. mi liko pipi in poopoohole
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Old 03-22-2012, 06:11 PM   #21 (permalink)
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^^2 up: eleventeen?

I saw a KID at walmart last week wearing a $5 footlong shirt with the arrow pointing down to his pirate ship according to the shirt. I personally liked the 7Up Yours better, and the great I'm with stupid. Also I used to have a PJ Stock Crew shirt which said Ass Kicker on the back (I might actually still have it and will need to bust it out if so), always great to wear in public and out to the gym.
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Old 03-22-2012, 06:20 PM   #22 (permalink)
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Just for some fun today:
Imposter (Snow) - Jim Carrey - YouTube

Official Liquid-Plumr Double Impact Commercial - YouTube

Jim carey does Vanilla Ice - YouTube

Whoa Video Featuring Joey Lawrence - YouTube

Whoa! - YouTube
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