Blowout Cards Forums

Go Back   Blowout Cards Forums > COMMUNITY > Off Topic

Off Topic This section may contain threads that are NSFW. This section is given a bit of leeway on some of the rules and so you may see some mild language and even some risqué images. Please no threads about race, religion, politics, or sexual orientation. Please no self promotion, sign up, or fundraising threads.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 03-27-2012, 10:25 PM   #101 (permalink)
Member
 
ManInTheMirror's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Austin, Texas
Posts: 32,292
Default

What is the best thing about 24 year olds?

There are 20 of them.
__________________
collecting Nick Foles ---> http://sportscardalbum.com/u/maninthemirror/a/nick-foles

collecting Quarterbacks ---> http://sportscardalbum.com/u/maninthemirror/a/quarterbacks
ManInTheMirror is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-27-2012, 10:26 PM   #102 (permalink)
Member
 
mnvikingstwins's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Land of 11,842 lakes
Posts: 27,335
Default

Chuck Norris walked into a bar. He was greeted with much respect considering he was a talented actor.


Why is Scientology the Fastest Growing Religion of 21st Century?

It isn't, its a cult.


A black guy, a white guy, and a mexican guy are stranded in the middle of a desert. After many days of not finding food, water, or shelter they contemplate cannibalism to survive, but can't decide who to eat. The mexican dies first for an unrelated reason.


Are you from Tennessee?

Because I can tell by your accent.
__________________
91 plate autos so far: photobucket.com/plateautographs
Collect Trevor Plouffe, Kennys Vargas, Adam Brett Walker, Twins Printing Plates, Toby Gerhart, Eric Decker, Ra'Shede Hageman
Sierra. Hotel. India. Echo. Lima. Delta. The Shield. Yes!! Yes!! Yes!! #FollowTheBuzzards
mnvikingstwins is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 03-27-2012, 10:32 PM   #103 (permalink)
Member
 
37Jetson's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: South Central PA
Posts: 9,652
Default

Buh bye thread, it was fun for a while. Now it has become a playground for pedaphile jokes, the overly sensitive and MnVikingstwins getting less funny by the post.
__________________
Looking for bulk lots of Topps Football 1969, 1972, 1976. Please PM me if you have any for sale.
37Jetson is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-27-2012, 11:31 PM   #104 (permalink)
Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Sent using US Airways WiFi
Posts: 15,583
Default

what did batman say to robin before they got in the car?

get in the car!
sunsfan8 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-28-2012, 01:41 AM   #105 (permalink)
Member
 
ilovethelakings's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: North Mexico
Posts: 13,789
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by mmbtvs View Post
Some people are obviously not getting the theme by posting actual jokes that just aren't funny. I believe an anti joke is something that seems like it is going to be a joke but actually has a very serious ending.
If you don't have a joke to contribute, please don't post here.
__________________
Looking for A&G sized minis and Topps Olympic relics, pins, etc. for my daughter and refractors for my son
Personal GU's Favs: Kings, Angels, Broncos, Packers, Steelers, international teams
Don't drink and break. It's the law.
ilovethelakings is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 03-28-2012, 01:51 AM   #106 (permalink)
Member
 
ManInTheMirror's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Austin, Texas
Posts: 32,292
Default

Why did the chicken cross the road?





To get to the party.
__________________
collecting Nick Foles ---> http://sportscardalbum.com/u/maninthemirror/a/nick-foles

collecting Quarterbacks ---> http://sportscardalbum.com/u/maninthemirror/a/quarterbacks
ManInTheMirror is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-28-2012, 02:20 AM   #107 (permalink)
Member
 
newton615's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: boston
Posts: 3,331
Default

man walks up to a little girl and says why are you crying? little girl says my alcoholic father just died of liver cirrhosis
__________________
In Bill We Trust
newton615 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-28-2012, 02:45 AM   #108 (permalink)
Member
 
ManInTheMirror's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Austin, Texas
Posts: 32,292
Default

What is white and sometimes has blood all over it?






A wife beater.



(amidoingthisright?)
__________________
collecting Nick Foles ---> http://sportscardalbum.com/u/maninthemirror/a/nick-foles

collecting Quarterbacks ---> http://sportscardalbum.com/u/maninthemirror/a/quarterbacks
ManInTheMirror is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-28-2012, 07:26 AM   #109 (permalink)
Member
 
mmbtvs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 9,091
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by ilovethelakings View Post
If you don't have a joke to contribute, please don't post here.
I read all your posts, and so far you haven't submitted a joke either. You've just made everyone stupider for reading your posts. Idiot.
mmbtvs is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-28-2012, 12:52 PM   #110 (permalink)
Member
 
Nodie27's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Downey, CA
Posts: 5,189
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by ilovethelakings View Post
If you don't have a joke to contribute, please don't post here.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mmbtvs View Post
I read all your posts, and so far you haven't submitted a joke either. You've just made everyone stupider for reading your posts. Idiot.
Alright ladies, you two need to break it up. I can't stand this lovers quarrel. I don't know if it was introducing the hairless Philippino into your bedroom that broke you up but you guys need to stop! Remember the love.
__________________
#Team Connor
Running For Connor - http://www.blowoutcards.com/forums/off-topic/556420-running-connor.html
Nodie27 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-28-2012, 02:27 PM   #111 (permalink)
Member
 
ilovethelakings's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: North Mexico
Posts: 13,789
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nodie27 View Post
Alright ladies, you two need to break it up. I can't stand this lovers quarrel. I don't know if it was introducing the hairless Philippino into your bedroom that broke you up but you guys need to stop! Remember the love.
Right now he is the Andy Dick to my John Lovitz. Dude deserves a smack for some of his latest actions and I'll just leave it at that for the moment.

Back to the anti jokes:

What did the homeless child in Boston get for Christmas?

Pneumonia

A man walks into a pub. He is an alcoholic whose drinking problem is destroying his family.
__________________
Looking for A&G sized minis and Topps Olympic relics, pins, etc. for my daughter and refractors for my son
Personal GU's Favs: Kings, Angels, Broncos, Packers, Steelers, international teams
Don't drink and break. It's the law.
ilovethelakings is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 03-28-2012, 02:39 PM   #112 (permalink)
Member
 
chipmaster's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 6,595
Default

Q: Why did mmbtvs cross the road?

A: To beat the #@#@#@#@ out of ilovethelakings for his snide, dickbag comments.....
__________________
Shut up *****, go fix me a Turkey Pot Pie!
chipmaster is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-28-2012, 02:52 PM   #113 (permalink)
Member
 
ilovethelakings's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: North Mexico
Posts: 13,789
Default

Three men walk into a bar. Two go and find a seat while the other heads to the bar to buy the first round. As he approaches the barman, the barman can't help but notice how well-to-do this man looks. He is covered head to toe in the finest garments and jewelry, he is even wearing a crown, a monocle, and carrying a scepter. In short, all the trappings of a cartoon billionaire.

As the bar man is pulling the pints he remarks to the gentleman: "I hope you don't think I'm prying, but, I couldn't help but notice you seem pretty well off. How, may I ask did you come into such a fortune?"

The man replies: "Well, me and my friends over there found a genie in a beer bottle outside, and he granted us each a wish."

Barman: "So, I take it you wished to be the richest man in the world."

The man puts one finger on his nose, and points at the barman with the other hand, as you would in a game of charades.

Barman: "Not a bad choice at all if I do say so."

The man nods politely, pays for the round and goes over to his friends.

After a while, the second man goes up to the bar. This man is notable only insofar as he can barely be seen for all the beautiful women draped around him, seemingly caressing every available inch of his body.

He orders another round, which the barman dutifully pulls. As he finishes off the last pint he can't help but comment: "I hope you don't mind me asking but, you are a friend of that wealthy gentlemen over there aren't you?"

"I am indeed," murmurs the man from beneath the pile of beauties.

"And you wished to be the most attractive man in the world?"

"Pretty much, yeah."

"Excellent choice sir, enjoy your round," says the barman with the kind of knowing smile you tend to see on people vicariously appreciating the implied sexual exploits of a stranger.

So he shuffles back to the table and he and his friends have their drinks. Not long later the third man approaches the bar and asks for another round. The barman cannot help but notice this man has an orange for a head. But he carries on pulling the pints in silence, until he cannot contain himself any longer and asks:

"You found the genie too, right?"

"That's correct," replies the man with an orange for a head.

"And what did you wish for, if you don't mind my asking?"

"I wished to have an orange for a head."
__________________
Looking for A&G sized minis and Topps Olympic relics, pins, etc. for my daughter and refractors for my son
Personal GU's Favs: Kings, Angels, Broncos, Packers, Steelers, international teams
Don't drink and break. It's the law.
ilovethelakings is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 03-28-2012, 07:08 PM   #114 (permalink)
Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Sent using US Airways WiFi
Posts: 15,583
Default

what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas?

cancer
sunsfan8 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-28-2012, 08:18 PM   #115 (permalink)
Member
 
GoJays's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 6,244
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by sunsfan8 View Post
what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas?

cancer
Is it wrong that I laughed at this?
__________________
I will leave my signature the same until the Toronto Maple Leafs miss the Stanley Cup playoffs. In short, I will never change my signature.
GoJays is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 03-28-2012, 08:40 PM   #116 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 102
Default

A recently divorced man, down on his luck was walking down the beach when he kicked a bottle in the sand. Having heard about these things, he thought what the heck, picked it up and rubbed it hard.

Low and behold, a magical genie popped out of the bottle. The man said, "I've heard about this, you're supposed to grant me 3 wishes, right?" The genie said, "I've been cooped up in that bottle for over a thousand years, but I'm not your standard genie. You are entitled to 3 wishes....BUT......whatever you wish for, your ex-wife gets double the wish."

The guy says "I can live with that". Without thinking, he quickly makes his 1st wish and asks for 10 million dollars. The genie says, "No problem, but keep in mind that your ex will get $20 million!" The guy thinks and says, "OK, that'll work."

The guy ponders a little harder for the second wish and wishes for a 30 room mansion on an island. The genie says, "No problem, but again, remember that your ex gets a 60 room mansion on an island twice the size of yours!"

Beginning to get very steamed because his ex already took him to the cleaners and now she gets even more, the guy really starts to think hard.

After several minutes, the genie gets impatient and asks for the final wish, "What will your final request be?" he asks loudly!

The guy, after several minutes of contemplating, calmly says, "I'll have a mild heart attack."
allabtsprt is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-28-2012, 09:04 PM   #117 (permalink)
Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Sent using US Airways WiFi
Posts: 15,583
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by GoJays View Post
Is it wrong that I laughed at this?
not at all
sunsfan8 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-29-2012, 06:00 PM   #118 (permalink)
Member
 
ilovethelakings's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: North Mexico
Posts: 13,789
Default

Which sexual activity do 9 out 10 people enjoy?

Gang rape.
__________________
Looking for A&G sized minis and Topps Olympic relics, pins, etc. for my daughter and refractors for my son
Personal GU's Favs: Kings, Angels, Broncos, Packers, Steelers, international teams
Don't drink and break. It's the law.
ilovethelakings is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 03-29-2012, 06:13 PM   #119 (permalink)
Approved Group Break Host
 
SportCardBuffet's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Behind this camera breaking for you!
Posts: 8,543
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by mnvikingstwins View Post
A black guy, a white guy, and a mexican guy are stranded in the middle of a desert. After many days of not finding food, water, or shelter they contemplate cannibalism to survive, but can't decide who to eat. The mexican dies first for an unrelated reason.
Lol, WTF dude that was fukin funny, ahhh that caught me off guard lol im still laughing while typing lol
__________________
Actively taking Consignments, PM for details.
Get in this break! http://www.blowoutcards.com/forums/join-new-group-breaks-here/693372-scbs-th-break-6-2014-museum-collection-2013-bowman-draft-jumbo-snaked-hit-draft.html
My 15 Caser: 99
@SportCardBuffet
SportCardBuffet is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 03-29-2012, 06:21 PM   #120 (permalink)
Member
 
ManInTheMirror's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Austin, Texas
Posts: 32,292
Default

What is the difference between a juggalo get-together and a clown convention?





Nothing.
__________________
collecting Nick Foles ---> http://sportscardalbum.com/u/maninthemirror/a/nick-foles

collecting Quarterbacks ---> http://sportscardalbum.com/u/maninthemirror/a/quarterbacks
ManInTheMirror is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-29-2012, 06:28 PM   #121 (permalink)
Banned
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 5,667
Default

What are the simalarities between a Plum and a Rabbit?

They are both purple, apart from the rabbit.
ttmtrader101 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-29-2012, 06:37 PM   #122 (permalink)
Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Sent using US Airways WiFi
Posts: 15,583
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by ttmtrader101 View Post
What are the simalarities between a Plum and a Rabbit?

They are both purple, apart from the rabbit.
i usually say that joke but with an eagle instead of a rabbit still funny
sunsfan8 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-29-2012, 11:54 PM   #123 (permalink)
Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Sent using US Airways WiFi
Posts: 15,583
Default

i decided to burn some calories so i found a fat kid and lit him on fire
sunsfan8 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-29-2012, 11:54 PM   #124 (permalink)
Member
 
Zacky1053's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 22,349
Default

Did you hear about the two antennas that got married?

The wedding was alright, but the reception was excellent!
__________________
If you put “the” and “IRS” together, it spells “theirs”.
Zacky1053 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-29-2012, 11:56 PM   #125 (permalink)
Member
 
ManInTheMirror's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Austin, Texas
Posts: 32,292
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zacky1053 View Post
Did you hear about the two antennas that got married?

The wedding was alright, but the reception was excellent!
This is not an anti-joke. This is a DAMN FINE joke.
__________________
collecting Nick Foles ---> http://sportscardalbum.com/u/maninthemirror/a/nick-foles

collecting Quarterbacks ---> http://sportscardalbum.com/u/maninthemirror/a/quarterbacks
ManInTheMirror is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 09:32 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO
Copyright © 2013, Blowout Cards Inc.