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Old 12-08-2012, 09:19 PM   #176 (permalink)
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Wow, you must've done some digging for this lol. Idk if this has been posted yet but...:

What's worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can?

1 dead baby in 10 trash cans.
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Old 12-08-2012, 10:22 PM   #177 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eddiejr View Post
What do you do with a dog with no legs?

You take him for a drag.
What do you call a dog with no legs

It doesn't matter cause he ain't gonna come anyway
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Old 12-08-2012, 10:27 PM   #178 (permalink)
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Wow, you must've done some digging for this lol. Idk if this has been posted yet but...:

What's worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can?

1 dead baby in 10 trash cans.
no not really. Theres this thing called the search feature. Its a pretty good thing we got here....
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Old 12-08-2012, 10:40 PM   #179 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by ToppsCollector1 View Post
no not really. Theres this thing called the search feature. Its a pretty good thing we got here....
Sometimes it doesn't work
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Old 12-08-2012, 11:26 PM   #180 (permalink)
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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff?

They were my friends.
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Mr. Irrelevant: The choice of Aaron Hernandez with the 180th pick gave ImNOTDanShakespeare the worst pick of the last round in terms of projected points.
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Old 12-08-2012, 11:27 PM   #181 (permalink)
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Why can't Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle?

Because drawing a perfect circle is impossible for any human.


What did the homeless man get for christmas?

Nothing.
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Mr. Irrelevant: The choice of Aaron Hernandez with the 180th pick gave ImNOTDanShakespeare the worst pick of the last round in terms of projected points.
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Old 12-08-2012, 11:30 PM   #182 (permalink)
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Knock Knock
Who's there?
The police, your entire family died in a car accident


You know why Michael J. Fox makes really good milkshakes? ... because he uses the best ingredients.
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Mr. Irrelevant: The choice of Aaron Hernandez with the 180th pick gave ImNOTDanShakespeare the worst pick of the last round in terms of projected points.

Last edited by DanShakespeare; 12-08-2012 at 11:38 PM.
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Old 12-11-2012, 03:33 PM   #183 (permalink)
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and now ... a heart-felt poem.

Oh dead dog on the corner, why did you have to die like you did?
Oh dead dog on the corner, did you choke on a fig? (FYI, probably not – there weren’t any fig trees around.)

You look like a daschound

is that how you spell daschound?
why does it look like that? It looks like it should be pronounced dash-hound, but instead of pronounced dok-sun. Why? I dunno, shut up. I’m freestylin’ here.

You look like a wiener dog, all tiny and brown
It was just wrong of that girl to dress you up in a gown

Because, well…you’re dead. Dressing up dead things are gross. Who is this girl? Are we sure she is a girl? Are we sure she even exists at all?

Oh, dead dog on the corner, I’m thankful you werent a squished dead dog
I’m also thankful you weren’t my dog. Did you know how to clog?

Oh, dead dog on the corner, are you still there?
Do my HOA dues consider this, and take care?

Oh, dead dog on the corner, when will you be moved?
Will they draw a chalk outline, or will birds eat you as food?

Oh, dead dog on the corner, I’m gonna have some fun.
For tonight, I will steal you and throw you on someone.
I am going to wire you up wtih strings, and knock on a door
then make you sing and dance … weekend at bernies style, sucka.

Okay, that doesn’t even rhyme and PS, that movie sucked! You suck! How you like me now, Brock??? I’m leaving. This poem / story / ode is lame. Yeah? Your mom’s poem / story / ode is lame!

Oh dead dog on the corner, it is midnight and it is clear
That someone already took you and had their fun, for all thats left is your ear…

of corn that you were eating, perhaps you choked on it
but i really think I hit you with my car earlier today, because you were an idiot

But now you are not an idiot. You are a dead dog who was on the corner.
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Old 04-27-2013, 12:09 AM   #184 (permalink)
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One more bump.....

Why did the boy vomit?

Because he was sick
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Old 04-27-2013, 12:12 AM   #185 (permalink)
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Wanna know something that I have that's 12 inches?

My ruler.
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Old 04-27-2013, 12:15 AM   #186 (permalink)
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hahahahaha you said ruler i thought you were gonna say your penis haha
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Old 04-27-2013, 12:16 AM   #187 (permalink)
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What do you call a woman who has sex for money? A wife.
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Old 04-27-2013, 12:20 AM   #188 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by marino5084 View Post
A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.
One of the best jokes I've ever read.
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Old 04-27-2013, 12:21 AM   #189 (permalink)
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lol, oh my that duck one is brilliant indeed. gonna have to bust that one out at the water cooler
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Old 04-27-2013, 12:35 AM   #190 (permalink)
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ilovethelakings has a large penis

Its actually very very small beep beep chode alert
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Old 04-27-2013, 12:44 AM   #191 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lawjawjones View Post
ilovethelakings has a large penis

Its actually very very small beep beep chode alert
Small but large compared to others.......
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Old 04-27-2013, 10:59 AM   #192 (permalink)
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Quote:
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Why did the little boy drop his lollipop?

He got hit by a car.
hahahahaha
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