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Old 03-25-2012, 09:50 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Anti Joke Thread

what's brown and sticky?

a stick

post some more funny ones
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Old 03-25-2012, 09:53 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Q) What does it mean if you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has $5?

A) You both have 5 dollars
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Old 03-25-2012, 09:56 PM   #3 (permalink)
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What do you get when you cross a chicken and a road?

A bad joke.
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Old 03-25-2012, 09:57 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Old 03-25-2012, 09:58 PM   #5 (permalink)
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A horse walks into a bar.
Barman says, "Why the long face?"

The horse replies, "My mom died this morning".
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Old 03-25-2012, 10:03 PM   #6 (permalink)
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A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll it be?"

The duck doesn't say anything because its a duck
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Old 03-25-2012, 10:06 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Why did the little boy drop his lollipop?

He got hit by a car.
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Old 03-25-2012, 10:06 PM   #8 (permalink)
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whats long, hard and filled with Seamen

A Submarine!
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Old 03-25-2012, 10:06 PM   #9 (permalink)
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knock knock

who's there?

to

to who?

to whom
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Old 03-25-2012, 10:09 PM   #10 (permalink)
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What is yellow, has wheels, and lies on its back?

A school bus after a horrible traffic accident.
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Old 03-25-2012, 10:09 PM   #11 (permalink)
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It is scary that you beat me to posting this exact joke...

Lets go with this one instead

Did you hear about the fire at the circus?

Yeah, it was in tents

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Originally Posted by ilovethelakings View Post
A horse walks into a bar.
Barman says, "Why the long face?"

The horse replies, "My mom died this morning".
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Old 03-25-2012, 10:10 PM   #12 (permalink)
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What do you call a woman flying an airplane?

A pilot.
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Old 03-25-2012, 10:11 PM   #13 (permalink)
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2 guys walked into a bar.

The other ducked.
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Old 03-25-2012, 10:14 PM   #14 (permalink)
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What do you call four bullfighters in quicksand?

Quatro Sinko
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Old 03-25-2012, 10:15 PM   #15 (permalink)
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A priest, rabbi, imam, and Buddhist monk walked into a bar. They had an intense debate over which was God's one true religion. They walked out without having changed any of their opinions and beliefs.
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Old 03-25-2012, 10:16 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Why did they have to put in Astro-Turf at Lambeau Field?


So the cheerleaders wouldn't graze!
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Old 03-25-2012, 10:16 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Why did the ram go off the end of the cliff?

Because he didn't see the ewe turn.
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Old 03-25-2012, 10:16 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
I have a gun.
Get in the van.
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Old 03-25-2012, 10:16 PM   #19 (permalink)
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What did the blonde do after she lost her wallet?

She looked for it.
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Old 03-25-2012, 10:17 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Epic fail kiddo, Lambeau field has natural grass.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mnvikingstwins View Post
Why did they have to put in Astro-Turf at Lambeau Field?


So the cheerleaders wouldn't graze!
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Old 03-25-2012, 10:17 PM   #21 (permalink)
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What would George Washington do if he were alive today?

Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.
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Old 03-25-2012, 10:18 PM   #22 (permalink)
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What type of a bee makes milk?

A boobee!!
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Old 03-25-2012, 10:18 PM   #23 (permalink)
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What is the biggest lie in the entire universe?
" I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"
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Old 03-25-2012, 10:21 PM   #24 (permalink)
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How do you make a plumber cry?

You kill his family.
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Old 03-25-2012, 10:22 PM   #25 (permalink)
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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.
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