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-   -   Chipmaster R.I.P. (http://www.blowoutcards.com/forums/off-topic/289775-chipmaster-r-i-p.html)

mmbtvs 04-18-2012 06:57 PM

Chipmaster R.I.P.
 
I'll give you all a moment to stop rejoicing....

Okay, now then, to my knowledge he's not dead. What this thread is for is to ask all of you what you would say in his eulogy if he did die, and you went to the funeral.

Example:

Chip was a man with a brown streak in every pair of underwear he owned. He only supported losing teams because it reminded him of himself. He was a man with more interest in weiners than Oscar Meyer.

L'chaim! Chip!

[IMG]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/7b/Reagan_toasting_1981.jpg[/IMG]

SelfDestruct808 04-18-2012 07:01 PM

Would it be like the eulogy they gave Charlie sheen on two and a half men?

ilovethelakings 04-18-2012 07:52 PM

Today we lay down one of our compatriots, Chipmaster. In his infinite wisdom, our Lord decided to take Chip from us, hence showing how much he truly loves us all. We all have so many vivid memories of the dearly departed that I pray that each of us develops Alzheimer's so that we can someday forget them. I would like to able to say that he deeply touched us all in one way or another, but I cannot. In reality, he only touched Anthony and Corbin, and they both touched him back in return. They'll forever be grateful for Chip being there for them in their times of need. Chip was a religious man and believed that their is a benevolent God and a tormenting Devil vying for our souls. And I am sure that at this moment, neither of them want to lay claim to his. So let us say farewell to a true man's man and que descanses en paz gŁey.

[IMG]http://i785.photobucket.com/albums/yy140/TnUncle/Nossi%202nd%20Term%20Finals/Mourning.jpg[/IMG]

golferphil 04-18-2012 10:12 PM

There is much rejoicing in the transvestite midget hooker community today...:devil:

Zerokruel 04-18-2012 10:20 PM

I'm here for the beer!

Brad 04-18-2012 11:36 PM

Who???????

Magicman32 04-18-2012 11:42 PM

I would just pee on his casket and walk away

cking 04-19-2012 12:16 AM

Chip liked penis in more ways then you will ever know..............but he takes that secret with him now dont he...................................

ManInTheMirror 04-19-2012 12:49 AM

In life he smelled like a stale fart, in death he smells like a stale fart. RIP Chippy

WilsonValdez 04-19-2012 12:57 AM

Chipmaster- At least he wasn't as big of a loser as MMBTVS...

cking 04-19-2012 01:20 AM

[QUOTE=WilsonValdez;2549803]Chipmaster- At least he wasn't as big of a loser as MMBTVS...[/QUOTE]

Is that even possible?......................just bustin chops Corbin:devil:

cking 04-19-2012 01:21 AM

[QUOTE=Magicman32;2549461]I would just pee on his casket and walk away[/QUOTE]

Thats messed up Dan, but funny nonetheless:)!

bboi30 04-19-2012 02:40 AM

Chipmaster. What to say. Banana Hammock anyone?

I see your husband is here Chip so lets all give him our condolences.

Magicman32 04-19-2012 11:46 AM

[QUOTE=cking;2549887]Thats messed up Dan, but funny nonetheless:)![/QUOTE]

I have been taking lessons from Ron:devil:

lemur01 04-19-2012 11:51 AM

*ahem*

Dear lord we give you Chip. If anybody up there has a lady with big boobers, tell em not to turn their back when Chip is around.

[IMG]http://www.chipmaster.info/images/IMG_1135---White.png[/IMG]

RIP :devil::devil::rolleyes:

durstlimpbizkit 04-19-2012 01:44 PM

I'm fairly new to these boards but as a non-partisan individual in this discussion I will offer up a few words.

Chipmaster was a fierce and very boisterous individual. It was once said that his potency was so unique that after a session of self gratification, he would impregnate women within a 5 mile radius simply by air travel. It was to this ability that he had a wealth of children to his name of which he no longer named but instead numbered them off. For children that looked similar, they would simply be followed by a lettering system (example, 1-A, 1-B).

On his deathbed he was surrounded by no fewer than 10,000 people (the hospital was erected specifically for the purpose of polygamist fathers, which of course was funded by the cartel he was the overseer of.) While it may never be known exactly how many generations of children he is the father of there are several aspects about him that were just as potent in his lifetime on this Earth.

He was a fervent supporter of the NRA, NAMBLA (National Association of Marlon Brando Look-Alikes) as well as be an advisor to several politicians, public figures, and noted rap artists Biz Markie and Vanilla Ice. His influence brought light to the careers of those he touched, whether verbally, through the air (as his paternity can prove) and last but not least, physically as well.

While never taking a true partner in life, he is survived by 132 girlfriends, 792 children, which may sound like a small number... however there may be hundreds, possibly thousands of children yet to come forward.

While many things may be said about him in death, one statement will be true hundreds of thousands of years from now.

He believed that toilet paper should be rolled from underneath, instead of over the top as most usually follow.

Requiescat in pace friend, you will be missed.

chipmaster 04-20-2012 08:01 AM

[QUOTE=bboi30;2550020]
I see your husband is here Chip so lets all give him our condolences.[/QUOTE]

Yeah, Brad decided to show up finally.....

You bunch of dickbags, wait until I get off of work so I can do some NSFW responses....

benshobbies 04-20-2012 08:10 AM

If I remember one thing about Chip, he had a great singing voice. Likened to that of Hannah Montana & Justin Bieber. His presence in a room was outstanding, and you could know him from a mile away. Man *sniff* I remember how he used to hold my hand, and carry me through the tough times in life, *sniff sniff* I can't believe he's truly gone! BOOHOOO!!!

mmbtvs 04-22-2012 01:37 PM

[QUOTE=chipmaster;2555463]Yeah, Brad decided to show up finally.....

You bunch of dickbags, wait until I get off of work so I can do some NSFW responses....[/QUOTE]

Anytime you're ready chipper. :rolleyes:

chipmaster 04-22-2012 03:06 PM

A week or so ago I hacked Anthony's email, and found pictures of him and Corbin doing a circle jerk with banana's up their ass. I promised I wouldn't tell his wife if he gave me a hj, but all he kept saying was "Who do you think took the pictures?." Since I couldn't use that against him anymore, I decided to go to a certain 'retail store he works at' and defecate all over the goddamn place, writing his name on the wall in poo. The sick part, is I saw him get some on his hand while he was cleaning it, and throughout the rest of the day, he smelled it, and got a twisted smile on his face- almost like he was savoring it.


Along comes Anthony after this ordeal- he has a pepperidge farm summer sausage and bottle of crisco in his hands. I asked him what that was for, and he giggles and says "mmbtvs and I are going to play my favorite game tonight." I asked him what game that was and says "Hide the Salami".

I had never heard of that game, but in walks Iblowthelakings doing the cabbage patch. He could not contain his excitement, as he proclaimed that he won last nights game after almost splitting Corbin in two. He said it was kinda like a UFC fight, where you have to tap out if you're going down (which they all did to each other anyway). Corbin almost died doing what he loves most, takin one for the team. He couldn't tap out, because he had a peter in each hand and his mouth was busy occupying 'stale farts' ballbag. Because of this Anthony got jealous and went out of turn. He was forceful agressive and hid the salami on elgaykings instead without notice or lube. It was their version of the human centipede he said, he was very proud that they perfected it. I call it the fudgeworm, but whatever floats their boat.

I have never been so scarred in all of my life, and after hearing this, and seeing those twinks giggle and grab each others sacks, I was Audi 5000.
Watch out for Corbin, he's a spiteful SOB if he doesn't get his gay.


So there you have it.

mmbtvs 04-22-2012 03:22 PM

[QUOTE=chipmaster;2565981]A week or so ago I hacked Anthony's email, and found pictures of him and Corbin doing a circle jerk with banana's up their ass. I promised I wouldn't tell his wife if he gave me a hj, but all he kept saying was "Who do you think took the pictures?." Since I couldn't use that against him anymore, I decided to go to a certain 'retail store he works at' and defecate all over the goddamn place, writing his name on the wall in poo. The sick part, is I saw him get some on his hand while he was cleaning it, and throughout the rest of the day, he smelled it, and got a twisted smile on his face- almost like he was savoring it.


Along comes Anthony after this ordeal- he has a pepperidge farm summer sausage and bottle of crisco in his hands. I asked him what that was for, and he giggles and says "mmbtvs and I are going to play my favorite game tonight." I asked him what game that was and says "Hide the Salami".

I had never heard of that game, but in walks Iblowthelakings doing the cabbage patch. He could not contain his excitement, as he proclaimed that he won last nights game after almost splitting Corbin in two. He said it was kinda like a UFC fight, where you have to tap out if you're going down (which they all did to each other anyway). Corbin almost died doing what he loves most, takin one for the team. He couldn't tap out, because he had a peter in each hand and his mouth was busy occupying 'stale farts' ballbag. Because of this Anthony got jealous and went out of turn. He was forceful agressive and hid the salami on elgaykings instead without notice or lube. It was their version of the human centipede he said, he was very proud that they perfected it. I call it the fudgeworm, but whatever floats their boat.

I have never been so scarred in all of my life, and after hearing this, and seeing those twinks giggle and grab each others sacks, I was Audi 5000.
Watch out for Corbin, he's a spiteful SOB if he doesn't get his gay.


So there you have it.[/QUOTE]

It's almost as if you were there.

mmbtvs 06-20-2012 08:54 PM

DAMNIT CHIP WHY WON'T YOU STAY DEAD!!!!!!!!!! I mean seriously guy.

SportsItUpCards 06-20-2012 09:08 PM

This is the SECOND time this thread fooled me..... hahaha :D

I'm glad the dude is not dead though :)!

SportsItUpCards 06-20-2012 09:08 PM

I was all ready to see if my name would be called in his will for all the cards :D

avjp87 06-20-2012 09:15 PM

I never knew that the video corbin and I made leaked. I guess it wasn't as popular as I hoped it was gonna be.


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