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Old 05-31-2012, 04:16 AM   #26 (permalink)
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I work on a military base(I'm enlisted.) I have this co-worker who hates our job so much that he has used the "I'm gonna kill myself" excuse to get a few days off. Whenever we have a hard day's work ahead of us, he tends to use that excuse. He's used it 3 times now. Well the other day he used it again, and our commander had a little talk with him. Nobody knows what was said in that talk, but it seems this little kid got his way. This kid has been in the air force for ALMOST a year and a half. This is his first assignment. He just got orders to a new base! He's being sent overseas to a NICE base in Europe. UNREAL! this kid complains to our CO about hating life here in Maryland and how he wants to kill himself, and our CO gives him orders to one of the nicest bases in Europe. I've been in over 9 years and I've been stuck in this area for over 6 of em. TRYING every year to get orders ANYWHERE else! No dice. This kid threatens suicide, and they just hand him a great assignment. SO PISSED.

Glad to have that kid out of my hair, but pissed that he's getting this assignment. NOBODY gets assignment's out of my job at my base unless they've been here forever! He's been on station less than a year and he's leaving. This kid LIES about everything. Taps his feet while he sits at the desk. Scuffs his feet when he walks. Makes a growl sound whenever he walks into a room(much like a heavy metal band growl). Claims he gave up a division 1 scholarship to play hockey for Penn(he's about 5'9" and 125 lbs soaking wet). I despise this kid. He doesnt belong in our military.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel better. Thanks for reading. LOL.
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Old 05-31-2012, 08:49 AM   #27 (permalink)
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I have a coworker that feels it necessary to wear flip-flop type shoes that make her sound like a friggin horse when she walks by my office. She also has a key ring the size of a softball, and jingles and clip clops her way into work almost everyday. She also uses the bathroom about 20 times a day, so it's a non stop ruckuss. We have a secure office, so she has to drag her keys everywhere with her. I seriously want to ......can't say it......
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Old 05-31-2012, 09:06 AM   #28 (permalink)
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I just absolutely love the "hefty" women in my office who walk 30 feet but are breathing like they just ran a marathon.
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Old 05-31-2012, 10:30 AM   #29 (permalink)
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I work with a guy (who happens to be gay...not that I have anything against that but he is rather annoying) that talks about American Idol, The Voice, and whatever family drama he feels the need to exacerbate about every single day! Then he'll start to play videos from those shows to share with the ladies we work with and he'll also start to sing the songs as well sometimes. He also has this laugh that sounds like he's sledding down a hill over a bed of rocks. And if you're talking about something, he loves to chime in and interrupt you. Yeah...he's awesome!
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Old 05-31-2012, 10:47 AM   #30 (permalink)
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Old 05-31-2012, 10:51 AM   #31 (permalink)
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there's a group of women at my job who have been long time clients of weight watchers. they talk about how great it is constantly and get into their little group huddles. i've been here for about 10 years now and they all look exactly how they looked 10 years ago.
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Old 05-31-2012, 11:00 AM   #32 (permalink)
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Co-worker with crutch words. He manages to fit "and so forth" into every conversation. In a 14 minute phone conversation, we tallied 29 uses. He also has to cut people off and feels the need to talk over them.

Another co-worker who takes "breaking office news" and runs with it. He likes to think that he's the guy with the office scoop.
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Old 05-31-2012, 11:22 AM   #33 (permalink)
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Co-worker with crutch words. He manages to fit "and so forth" into every conversation. In a 14 minute phone conversation, we tallied 29 uses. He also has to cut people off and feels the need to talk over them.

Another co-worker who takes "breaking office news" and runs with it. He likes to think that he's the guy with the office scoop.
This is FREAKIN hilarious! I used to have a high school gym teacher that would say "A'ight" (alright) about 20 times in one conversation and we used to bet each other how many times he'd say it.......freakin classic
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Old 05-31-2012, 12:21 PM   #34 (permalink)
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Claims he gave up a division 1 scholarship to play hockey for Penn(he's about 5'9" and 125 lbs soaking wet).
No D-1 Hockey at Penn - probably only club, and no sports scholarships of any in the Ivy League, so he's double bs-in' you, man!
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Old 05-31-2012, 12:31 PM   #35 (permalink)
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this thread is the greatest.

I have 2 monstrously annoying co-workers. Right now i'll just focus on the lesser of the 2. He's a nice enough guy, but he doesn't know how to begin or end conversations. He will often come to my desk and stand in front of me without saying anything...looking at me for as long as it takes me to stop what i'm doing and acknowledge his presence. No "Hey PhillyCards, anything going on?...". Just silence. I actually have an instance of this on video. I picked up my cell phone and pretended to check something, but i really hit RECORD on the video. It's just 20 seconds of him standing in front of me not saying anything. I needed proof for people who told me i was probably overreacting. It's like he's waiting for me to entertain him. That's what i mean about not knowing how to begin a conversation. Not being able to end it either....when it's clear the conversation is over....again, he will just stand there for minutes until i look back over and shrug at him... lol. He's my favorite.

There isn't enough room on the Internet for me to tell you about my other co-worker. Holy Sht. Let's just say, he yells at the radio (mostly sports radio, sometimes classic rock when they dont play a song he likes). That's just the tip of the iceberg.
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Old 06-06-2012, 10:52 AM   #36 (permalink)
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Im not getting into what I do etc but I have a fairly set schedule. On weds I like to go in early and try to be out early because I want to get back home to get a nap in around 3 or 4pm so I can get back up at midnight to get started for thurs which turns into a 2am to a 5pm day.

The one thing I ask is to not be held up but the person that has to do his job before I can do mine refuses to do anything to help me out. Nevermind the fact he could do a majority of the work that takes so long on tues..he has to stretch out his work.

On top of that, I get stuff put on me that shouldnt be...theres something that needs to be taken into Austin....instead of giving it the person thats ALREADY in Austin that day, they have me do it....even though Ive stressed getting in and out early etc...what makes that part worse is after Ive left to do my job, someone else will be passing right by the place theyre making me go to get to where theyre going.
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Old 06-06-2012, 11:52 AM   #37 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dunkjez View Post
I just absolutely love the "hefty" women in my office who walk 30 feet but are breathing like they just ran a marathon.
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there's a group of women at my job who have been long time clients of weight watchers. they talk about how great it is constantly and get into their little group huddles. i've been here for about 10 years now and they all look exactly how they looked 10 years ago.
I also work with heavy women (seems like 80% are) and the worst part is that some are young. The most annoying thing is that they take the elevator between floors.....we only have 2 floors! They always set unattainable weight loss goals and ridiculous cabbage soup diets so when I show up with anything with flavor I get a round of "I hate you" from the big girls.

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Originally Posted by YanksBillsFan View Post
Co-worker with crutch words. He manages to fit "and so forth" into every conversation. In a 14 minute phone conversation, we tallied 29 uses. He also has to cut people off and feels the need to talk over them.

Another co-worker who takes "breaking office news" and runs with it. He likes to think that he's the guy with the office scoop.
I have a co worker that uses "irregardless" every sentence. A few of us have pointed out that it's regardless but that doesn't stop them. We also have a "but again" co worker who can't wrap up a thought.

The worst offender is a co worker that always, and I mean always blows up the bathroom in the morning. This guy goes out of his way to save it for work, becuase he actually shows up early, so technically he could have dropped a deuce at home and been on time. But no, he paints the bowl at work and our restrooms are right by our clock in station so everyone gets a whiff of his beef each morning. Sprays don't do anything but give you a Vanilla and #@#@#@#@ smell or Cinnamon Crap scent.
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Old 06-06-2012, 12:21 PM   #38 (permalink)
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[The worst offender is a co worker that always, and I mean always blows up the bathroom in the morning. This guy goes out of his way to save it for work, becuase he actually shows up early, so technically he could have dropped a deuce at home and been on time. But no, he paints the bowl at work and our restrooms are right by our clock in station so everyone gets a whiff of his beef each morning. Sprays don't do anything but give you a Vanilla and #@#@#@#@ smell or Cinnamon Crap scent.[/QUOTE]

LOL! there's a guy at my job that does the exact same thing. the thing i don't get, is that he sits right next to a bathroom on his side of building. 1 with a single toilet and lock on the door. but for some reason he has to walk all the way to our side of the building and bomb the bathroom that multiple people walk in and out of.
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Old 06-06-2012, 12:33 PM   #39 (permalink)
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lol, good thread! I can't stand listening to people eat, it drives me crazy. The guy I share an office with has eaten a bag of pretzels every day for the last 7 years. I have to leave the office its so freaking loud!!

He also picks his nose and flings the booger into the trash can. Makes me want to puke.
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Old 06-06-2012, 12:49 PM   #40 (permalink)
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Glad to see this thread is back because my guy has started to do a new thing.

Now after one of his disgusting belches or sneezes he does the annoying Steve Urkel "Did I do that?" saying in as high of pitch to Urkel as he can get.

I seriously need to punch something every time I hear it. I think I'm gonna install a speed bag in my office....
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Old 06-06-2012, 12:53 PM   #41 (permalink)
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Glad to see this thread is back because my guy has started to do a new thing.

Now after one of his disgusting belches or sneezes he does the annoying Steve Urkel "Did I do that?" saying in as high of pitch to Urkel as he can get.

I seriously need to punch something every time I hear it. I think I'm gonna install a speed bag in my office....
are you able to voice record or make a video of said co-worker? I'm sure we would love to make it go youtube viral and maybe end up on Tosh.0
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Old 06-06-2012, 12:59 PM   #42 (permalink)
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I seriously need to punch something every time I hear it. I think I'm gonna install a speed bag in my office....
I have a speed bag in my basement, definitely helps with the anger issues. haha
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Old 06-06-2012, 01:07 PM   #43 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by BostonNut View Post
Glad to see this thread is back because my guy has started to do a new thing.

Now after one of his disgusting belches or sneezes he does the annoying Steve Urkel "Did I do that?" saying in as high of pitch to Urkel as he can get.

I seriously need to punch something every time I hear it. I think I'm gonna install a speed bag in my office....
wtf? Really? That wasn't even funny in the 90's when the show was still on. I hate Urkel! I don't know how you've managed to not go on a rampage at work.
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Old 06-06-2012, 06:38 PM   #44 (permalink)
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I travel on business quite a bit. Otherwise, yes, I would have made the news by now!

(Totally kidding )

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wtf? Really? That wasn't even funny in the 90's when the show was still on. I hate Urkel! I don't know how you've managed to not go on a rampage at work.
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Old 06-06-2012, 07:54 PM   #45 (permalink)
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I travel on business quite a bit. Otherwise, yes, I would have made the news by now!

(Totally kidding )
LOL I didnt' mean a semi automatic weapon rampage. More like a baby powder bitch slap kind of rampage.
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