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Old 10-19-2012, 08:05 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Family Wedding Etiquette Question

So my cousin is getting married next weekend, obviously I'll be at the wedding, and I haven't been to a wedding since my older cousin got married like 13 years ago, so I have a question

A little background, that side of my family and the family she's marrying into is loaded, like a lot, so going into this I know it's going to be a very upscale and fancy affair. Because of this, we figured most if not all of my cousins friends would own a tux, so we cleared it with her if it was okay if I didn't wear one (will have a black suit though) and she had no problem with it

But here is where my real question comes in, I have a beard, have had it for like 3 or 4 years actually, do I need to shave it for this?

I figure I'll be an outsider at the wedding anyways as I don't really fit in with the high society lifestyle that side of my family is in, so I don't think it would be an issue as I'll probably look out of place as it is, but just wasn't sure

Thanks guys
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Old 10-19-2012, 08:10 PM   #2 (permalink)
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beard = fine.... just trim your neck and your cheeks.... and your face cheeks. If they don't like a beard they can suck it.
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Old 10-19-2012, 08:12 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Have u ever seen duck dynasty? Rich people have beards too. Either they can deal with your beard or they can suck it. Just my 2 cents
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Old 10-19-2012, 08:13 PM   #4 (permalink)
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beard = fine.... just trim your neck and your cheeks.... and your face cheeks. If they don't like a beard they can suck it.
Haha well said
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Old 10-19-2012, 08:13 PM   #5 (permalink)
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i think facial hair is fine, as long as you're dressed well enough to attend, which you should be. the real question is that since she's from a upscale family, will it be an open bar? if so, drink your face off and don't worry about the details.
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Old 10-19-2012, 08:20 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Trim it and be who you are, playa
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Old 10-19-2012, 08:22 PM   #7 (permalink)
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i think facial hair is fine, as long as you're dressed well enough to attend, which you should be. the real question is that since she's from a upscale family, will it be an open bar? if so, drink your face off and don't worry about the details.
Oh it will be open bar and top shelf booze, too bad I only drink beer, but at least that means it shouldn't be like bud light and they'll have the good stuff

But here's the funny thing I was talking to someone about today, I'll still probably be buying some drinks as I'll probably be at the hotel for parts of the reception to watch game 4 of the World Series, gotta support my Tigers. I actually just bought an orange tie too since I obviously can't wear any tigers gear (I'll have a black tie and white shirt for the pre wedding pictures though). I'm sure they'll actually appreciate and find that funny as they're huge Braves fans (from and wedding will be in Atlanta)
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Old 10-19-2012, 08:24 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Keep the beard....shave your balls.
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Old 10-19-2012, 08:24 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Thanks guys, I was planning on keeping it but just wanted some reassurance. Already got it trimmed when I got my haircut so it isn't out of control or anything. Figured it would be fine since its not like I just got lazy and grew a beard but have had it for years, just a part of me now
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Old 10-19-2012, 08:39 PM   #10 (permalink)
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I say clean it up and u will be fine.
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Old 10-19-2012, 08:43 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Bearded brothers unite! Definitely fine to rock a beard, and you probably won't be the only one. Enjoy the fancy wedding, they can actually be a lot of fun when you're prepared for them. I'm guessing you'll have some Stella at a minimum.
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Old 10-19-2012, 08:46 PM   #12 (permalink)
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I need a pic of said facial hair to make an accurate decision. Also, if you could post pics of you in your pre-wedding, during wedding, and post wedding outfits. I will give a full critique and help you fancy up. Also, I hope you don't plan on wearing the same pair of shoes for all 3 events. Thank you.
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Old 10-19-2012, 08:51 PM   #13 (permalink)
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f**k em, it's your beard

i hate weddings and i'll always fight for the guy with the bada$$ beard
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Old 10-19-2012, 08:54 PM   #14 (permalink)
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f**k em, it's your beard

i hate weddings and i'll always fight for the guy with the bada$$ beard
Well said, no way should you shave your beard for a wedding.
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Old 10-19-2012, 09:08 PM   #15 (permalink)
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yea, do what youd do for any kind of formal function -trim.. its not your wedding just a cousin..,and if they judge you poorly cause of facial hair- then they are shallow, and will prob find fault elsewhere if you were shaved...

at the end of the night , go give your cousins new hubbys mom a big prickly beard kiss!
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Old 10-19-2012, 09:10 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by avjp87 View Post
f**k em, it's your beard

i hate weddings and i'll always fight for the guy with the bada$$ beard
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Well said, no way should you shave your beard for a wedding.
I didn't think so either, but this will be the fanciest event I've been to in my life, and the only thing I could see topping it for a long time would probably be my other cousin's wedding whenever he gets married, hahaha.

Visited my cousins, both live in NYC now, last year with my sister for a little reunion since we hadn't seen each other in 9 years, and my aunt and uncle happened to be in town that weekend. So they took us all out to dinner twice, hands down the two nicest restaurants I've ever been in, so I can't imagine what this wedding will be like.
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Old 10-19-2012, 09:11 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Old 10-19-2012, 09:22 PM   #18 (permalink)
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so what's the real difference between a suit and a tux?

I'm starting to feel bad that I might be "ruining" my cousins wedding pictures by being the only one in them not wearing a tux as obviously the groomsmen will have them, as well as the rest of our family (we're very a small family, the only men in the pictures other than the groomsmen will be myself, my dad, my uncle, and the groom's father and brother)

I was already planning on wearing a black suit (with a blue shirt and blue/orange/silver tie) so I'll be bringing a white shirt and black tie for the pictures beforehand.

Will I stand out horribly bad in just a black suit, white shirt, black tie, among a bunch of guys in tuxes?

I mean, most guys don't wear the cumberbun (sp) and bow ties anymore anyways, just a normal tie, so what's the difference?
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Old 10-19-2012, 09:25 PM   #19 (permalink)
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No
Wear a Tux, no one will care, you will get all KINDS of compliments
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Old 10-19-2012, 09:29 PM   #20 (permalink)
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No
Wear a Tux, no one will care, you will get all KINDS of compliments
little confused with this post

what's the "no" in response to?

what will nobody care about if I'm wearing a tux? or did you mean nobody will care if I don't?

Honestly, I don't think anyone will care either way, I know nobody will care during the reception as everyone will be too drunk and I'm sure there will be a decent amount of people there in just suits.

It's really just the pre-wedding pictures I'm minorly concerned about, just not sure it's worth spending the money to rent a tux when I'll be in what, 5-10 pitcures out of hundreds?

How many pictures include the cousins? I'd imagine most all of them will be with the wedding party and then the bride/groom and their parents and siblings.
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Old 10-19-2012, 09:41 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Are you a member of the wedding party? If not and the invitation dis not specifically call for black tie dress then you are OK.

Clean the beard up so you don't look like a homeless person and you will be fine
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Old 10-19-2012, 09:42 PM   #22 (permalink)
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Generally only the men/boys involved directly in the wedding wear a tux... Groom, Best Man, Groomsmen, Ring Bearer, Father of the Bride (or whomever is walking her down the aisle), sometimes ushers, other parents of the bride/groom, etc but if you are just a cousin attending the wedding and aren't directly involved, I'd think it would be more unusual if you DID wear a tux.

And as others have said, cleaned up beard is perfectly fine.
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Old 10-19-2012, 09:47 PM   #23 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zonacats8 View Post
so what's the real difference between a suit and a tux?

I'm starting to feel bad that I might be "ruining" my cousins wedding pictures by being the only one in them not wearing a tux as obviously the groomsmen will have them, as well as the rest of our family (we're very a small family, the only men in the pictures other than the groomsmen will be myself, my dad, my uncle, and the groom's father and brother)

I was already planning on wearing a black suit (with a blue shirt and blue/orange/silver tie) so I'll be bringing a white shirt and black tie for the pictures beforehand.

Will I stand out horribly bad in just a black suit, white shirt, black tie, among a bunch of guys in tuxes?

I mean, most guys don't wear the cumberbun (sp) and bow ties anymore anyways, just a normal tie, so what's the difference?
I honestly think you not wearing a tux won't be that big of a deal. No offense, but all of the weddings I have been to, (too damn many, probably about 10 in the past 3-4 years) the cousins get in about 2-3 pictures and that is about it. It's not like your going to be one of the groomsmen or an usher or anything. If I were you, I'd just dress what I feel most comfortable in. Just my 2 cents.
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Old 10-19-2012, 09:53 PM   #24 (permalink)
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Don't mess around with different ties. Just wear one that is the same color as your jacket.

And be classy. Shave the beard. Those that know you will be very impressed.
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Old 10-19-2012, 09:54 PM   #25 (permalink)
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Are you a member of the wedding party? If not and the invitation dis not specifically call for black tie dress then you are OK.

Clean the beard up so you don't look like a homeless person and you will be fine
Nope, not in the wedding party and the invitation said "black tie invited"

Really it was just me over thinking it because I think unlike most weddings 90% of the people there will already own a tux and probably wear it.
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