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Old 11-12-2012, 08:48 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Wanting Your Kids to Stay Close

Well my daughter got her first official offer to play college basketball last night. She set her goal as a freshman to play DI college basketball, and she has worked her rear off to try to get there. She realizes she isn't big school talent, be she wants to go to a small DI school. Well we have a DII school here in town and they offered her a full ride(atheltic + academic) scholarship, and the opportunity to compete for the starting position as a freshman. As parents, we love this choice of being so close to home as we have never missed a basketball game. She thinks this is too close to home, and that's the only negative she can come up with. They also wnat her to sign early (next week), but she wants to hold out if a better offer comes in. I want her to sign now, but I also want her to make her own decision. It's a tough place to be, as she is our only child. What do you think?
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Old 11-12-2012, 09:36 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Ultimately, of course, she has to do what she has to do. You spelled out all the choices, and now, the ball is in her court (pun intended).
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Old 11-12-2012, 09:37 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Well my daughter got her first official offer to play college basketball last night. She set her goal as a freshman to play DI college basketball, and she has worked her rear off to try to get there. She realizes she isn't big school talent, be she wants to go to a small DI school. Well we have a DII school here in town and they offered her a full ride(atheltic + academic) scholarship, and the opportunity to compete for the starting position as a freshman. As parents, we love this choice of being so close to home as we have never missed a basketball game. She thinks this is too close to home, and that's the only negative she can come up with. They also wnat her to sign early (next week), but she wants to hold out if a better offer comes in. I want her to sign now, but I also want her to make her own decision. It's a tough place to be, as she is our only child. What do you think?
Well if you want her to make her own decision then you must do so.

You lay out the pros and cons with her and decide. She needs to be ready for the possibility that a DI Free ride will not come.

If she's willing to do so then she must be responsible for her actions.

A free 4 year education and a shot at the starting spot at a DII is nothing to be ashamed of.

I applaud her drive though.
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Old 11-12-2012, 09:52 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Well if you want her to make her own decision then you must do so.

You lay out the pros and cons with her and decide. She needs to be ready for the possibility that a DI Free ride will not come.

If she's willing to do so then she must be responsible for her actions.

A free 4 year education and a shot at the starting spot at a DII is nothing to be ashamed of.

I applaud her drive though.
She will get to college for free either way, she will be valedictorian of her class. Momma had one rule---All A's or no basketball. She has been offered walk-on spots at two small DI schools. But once they see her transcript, they know they don't have to "waste" an athletic scholarship on her. But a walk-on spot scares her, she wants to play.
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Old 11-12-2012, 09:54 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Tough call.

If you let her do what she wants, maybe something else will come around, but the risk is she misses this opportunity. And, if she goes elsewhere, you won't be as close and/or be abel to attend the games like you would if she takes the current close-to-home offer.

Question - if she passes on local DII option, and then doesn't get anything anywhere else, what are her options? Is she sh*t out of luck, or could she go as a walk-on at the local school? My point is, if she passes on this, and then nothing else happens, is she risking her ability to play ball at all? I just don't know how it works that well.

In any case, I think you should let her do what she wants. I believe this is part of becoming an adult and growing up...learning to make decisions for yourself, some of which you may regret, some of which you won't.
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Old 11-12-2012, 09:56 AM   #6 (permalink)
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The hardest thing I have found in raising children is letting go and I cannot imagine how hard it will be when it comes to college.

In your situation I would lean towards letting all of the offers coming in before making the final decision. That would probably help her feel less pressured into a specific school.

Good Luck!

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Well my daughter got her first official offer to play college basketball last night. She set her goal as a freshman to play DI college basketball, and she has worked her rear off to try to get there. She realizes she isn't big school talent, be she wants to go to a small DI school. Well we have a DII school here in town and they offered her a full ride(atheltic + academic) scholarship, and the opportunity to compete for the starting position as a freshman. As parents, we love this choice of being so close to home as we have never missed a basketball game. She thinks this is too close to home, and that's the only negative she can come up with. They also wnat her to sign early (next week), but she wants to hold out if a better offer comes in. I want her to sign now, but I also want her to make her own decision. It's a tough place to be, as she is our only child. What do you think?
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Old 11-12-2012, 10:50 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Just talked to my co-worker who had the same tyoe of situation.

His girls were very good in basketball and soccer in high school.

1 wanted SO badly to play in college. She wanted Duke but knew she was not going to get a ride there.

So she got 2 D2 offers and a D3 offer (Not a scholorship because I guess they had some $$ incentive).

The D2 offers promised nothing, The D3 offered a chance to start.

She chose the D3 because she wanted so badly to play.

He then told me about the best girl on the BKB team who was offered a full ride to UConn and she took it. She played less in her College career than she did in 3 games in High School.
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Old 11-12-2012, 11:53 AM   #8 (permalink)
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I hope I read your first post correctly. I understand the desire to want to play collegiately, but isn't the main reason for going to school to get an education and a degree.

Look at the schools taking athletics out of it. Which one has a better program( or more acclaimed) for what she wants to study or get a degree for. That's more important than playing time, and distance. My brother left the baseball team his junior year to focus on his studies, he graduated and is now in pharmacy school. He still plays summer ball(wood bat league) and is in 2 intermural sports at UW-Madison.

Best of luck in making the decision. one of my few rules in our house is no matter what you do, put 100% into it. even if its doing something wrong, you will have no regrets. Your daughter needs to be 100% on board with the decision of which college the "family" decides otherwise it may diminish her experience.
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Old 11-12-2012, 12:53 PM   #9 (permalink)
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If she thinks its too close to home there already, she won't be happy there for 4 full years IMO. Part of the college experience to me is being far enough from home that you can't just go home whenever you want, you need to get out there and live your life without the "crutch" of knowing you can go home easily.

So if she's already thinking its too close, 4.5 years from now it really will be too close

Might want to take this with a grain of salt though as I moved 2,000 miles away for school (Michigan to Arizona)
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Old 11-12-2012, 02:17 PM   #10 (permalink)
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You've got to let her do what she wants. "Forcing" a kid to go to a specific college, if they are willing to take on the responsibilites of a different school (whether that's financial, not playing sports, living on their own etc...), is one of the worst things you can do I think.

I, like Zona above, moved 2,000 miles away as I went from Ohio to Arizona State. Didn't know a soul when I moved there - and I'd never change what I did - and after college I realized moving back home to be closer to my family was what I wanted to do. If I hadn't left for college I'm not sure I could have said the same. Moving away allowed me to appreciate coming back home to be closer to family.

All relative of course to finances, how bad they want to play basketball, etc...
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Old 11-12-2012, 02:28 PM   #11 (permalink)
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She will get to college for free either way, she will be valedictorian of her class. Momma had one rule---All A's or no basketball. She has been offered walk-on spots at two small DI schools. But once they see her transcript, they know they don't have to "waste" an athletic scholarship on her. But a walk-on spot scares her, she wants to play.
If she passes on the local DII offer because they want her to commit early, can she still "walk on" there and go for free with her grades if she decides to later? If so, then she should wait and not be pressured into anything without all the available options known.
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Old 11-12-2012, 02:32 PM   #12 (permalink)
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In no way would we force her to do anything, but we did give our honest opinion. We have never gone through the recruiting process, and it is just very stressful on all of us. She wants to be an optometrist, so she is also looking at the academic side of what will prepare her best for grad school. Just a stressful time, and I thought you all would give me perspective. Thanks for the comments above!
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Old 11-12-2012, 03:07 PM   #13 (permalink)
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I went away (3 hour drive) and would not have traded it for anything. I took on a lot of debt to do so, but it was a better school as well.

- How far is the DI school?
- How do the academics compare, what about the actual program she will be in?

I went to the better academic school, didn't have plans on getting my Master's after undergrad but ended up doing that so I lucked out. I went home probably 5 times each academic year, and was home during the summer except between 3rd & 4th year.
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Old 11-12-2012, 03:16 PM   #14 (permalink)
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First off, congrats on having such a athletically and academically talented daughter. All you can do is go over the academics at each school and then the athletics and weigh the pros and cons and let her make the decision. Just let her know as I'm sure you have that you're there to help answer questions etc. Good luck and hope things work out great for you and your daughter.
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Old 11-12-2012, 05:42 PM   #15 (permalink)
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I'd take the D2 offer since its a full ride, if she can continue to improve her game she can always xfr to a D1 school as a JR if she wants to make the move. If she can get some money from a D1 school then that looks a lot better, but if it's just a walk on and she will have $20,000+ debt after school, then it's really a no brainer. Either way though, she'll have to figure it out. Congrats on having a good kid...takes a lot to move on to play college ball at any level.

PS: you talking Concord?
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Old 11-12-2012, 06:50 PM   #16 (permalink)
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I'd take the D2 offer since its a full ride, if she can continue to improve her game she can always xfr to a D1 school as a JR if she wants to make the move. If she can get some money from a D1 school then that looks a lot better, but if it's just a walk on and she will have $20,000+ debt after school, then it's really a no brainer. Either way though, she'll have to figure it out. Congrats on having a good kid...takes a lot to move on to play college ball at any level.

PS: you talking Concord?
He said she'll have a full ride anywhere just because of her academics anyways, so she won't be going into debt no matter where she goes
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Old 11-12-2012, 07:38 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Its good to hear she got the offers, and dont let her be dumb and not take a scholarship offer. I just graduated 2 years ago, wrestled since i was 3 and figured I didnt wanna wrestle in college..had a full ride offer to on of the top 3 DII schools in the nation when I was in 10 grade, and declined it. Now kicking myself in the ass having to pay for half of my college!
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Old 11-13-2012, 02:43 PM   #18 (permalink)
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I'd take the D2 offer since its a full ride, if she can continue to improve her game she can always xfr to a D1 school as a JR if she wants to make the move. If she can get some money from a D1 school then that looks a lot better, but if it's just a walk on and she will have $20,000+ debt after school, then it's really a no brainer. Either way though, she'll have to figure it out. Congrats on having a good kid...takes a lot to move on to play college ball at any level.

PS: you talking Concord?
Not Concord, but Davis and Elkins. She talked to her high school coach, and pt last night and she is now leaning towards signing next week. But she is a 17 year-old girl and that may change again tonight!!
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Old 11-21-2012, 10:58 AM   #19 (permalink)
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Just an update:

Lady Bulldogs? Howell headed to Davis &?Elkins - TheInterMountain.com | News, Sports, Jobs, WV, Community Information - The Inter-Mountain
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Old 11-21-2012, 11:58 AM   #20 (permalink)
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so shes going to Davis and Elkins?
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Old 11-21-2012, 12:12 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Congrats.

Is that the D1 or D2 school??
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Old 11-21-2012, 01:01 PM   #22 (permalink)
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DII, although she wanted D1, she realized the opportunity to play immediately was at the DII level. That was the deciding factor for her.
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Old 11-21-2012, 01:15 PM   #23 (permalink)
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Congratulations all around. A full ride and near home sounds fantastic!

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DII, although she wanted D1, she realized the opportunity to play immediately was at the DII level. That was the deciding factor for her.
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