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Old 11-21-2012, 09:37 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Since I have been 12 years old, I have dealt with anxiety issues, suffered from manic depression, bipolar, and insomnia. Sometimes, like today, I wake up and feel like I am bound in chains in a deep dark tunnel and I see no light at the end of the tunnel. I try to avoid people so I don't snap on them, and it only causes more turmoil in my life. My family doesn't seem to understand what I go through on a daily basis, nor do they think it's real. I wish I had someone who understood me. I wish my life was normal. I wish I could a typical young man and not look in the mirror and not like what I see looking back at me. I am often afraid of my own reflection, and avoid looking in the mirror on days like these. I wish I had a release that was able to work on a daily basis, but it's just not in the cards for me. Maybe the chains will slowly lose their grip and the light will sparkle at the end of the tunnel, and today will turn out good. I don't see it though.

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Old 11-21-2012, 09:44 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Have you ever tried going on a hike or jog with nothing but some good tunes? I pray you find a solution for yourself I used to feel that way sometimes but some counter culture drug use opened up a new world and made me appreciate life for what it is not what it is not.Take care bro holler at me if you wanna chat in the future.=)
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Old 11-21-2012, 09:50 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Have you read anything on mindfulness? I have found it really helpful. I am still working on my anxiety and anger issues. I have come to realize this will be a daily and long term. I hope you find the inner peace you are searching for.
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Old 11-21-2012, 09:54 AM   #4 (permalink)
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You mention bipolar in your post. If you have bipolar disorder, then you need to be on medication. If you aren't on it, then seek help to get on it. If you don't take medication for bipolar, you risk more of what you describe in your post, a lot more, and it can get worse. Bipolar tricks your brain into thinking you don't need meds, but that is the sickness talking, not your normal brain. For your own health, go see a good doctor or therapist, preferably with your parents, and tell them the things you said on this forum.
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Old 11-21-2012, 09:57 AM   #5 (permalink)
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You say that you work in the VA Hospital there in Johnson City. Use those resources to find some help. They are plentiful in the Tri Cities.
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Old 11-21-2012, 09:58 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Ya, I agree with the above. Sounds like you should think about getting some medical help.
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Old 11-21-2012, 10:05 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Very sorry to hear about this --- I wish you only the best, obviously, and hope that you can find some form of resolution for this, possibly in the form of medication as others have suggested. I know today's society is always talking about "being medicated" and there is a stigma often associated with the use of prescription pharmaceuticals, but that stigma is associated with those that abuse and/or over-prescribe. Then, on the other hand, there are true, real cases where drugs are there to help. This seems like one of them.

You know that we are here always here --- always. If you ever want to chat or shoot the sh*t to help get through these periods, you know where to find us.
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Old 11-21-2012, 10:09 AM   #8 (permalink)
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You were talking about getting a gun in another thread, probably not a good idea if you have these types of feelings. No offense intended, just saying...if you have emotional swings that are extreme it might not be a good thing to have laying around.

Go see a Doc and tell them whats up, they can give you some happy pills...as long as you take them like you should then it will probably keep you leveled out a lot better. Had a friend that was like this, he's no longer with us....don't ignore it because it's not going to just go away.

Good luck.
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Old 11-21-2012, 10:11 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Hang in there brother! I know that asking for help is a very difficult thing to do. It sounds like you have reached the stage in your life where this could be a good idea for you.

I will pray that you are able to find comfort.

Quote:
Originally Posted by GatorBoyInTN View Post
Since I have been 12 years old, I have dealt with anxiety issues, suffered from manic depression, bipolar, and insomnia. Sometimes, like today, I wake up and feel like I am bound in chains in a deep dark tunnel and I see no light at the end of the tunnel. I try to avoid people so I don't snap on them, and it only causes more turmoil in my life. My family doesn't seem to understand what I go through on a daily basis, nor do they think it's real. I wish I had someone who understood me. I wish my life was normal. I wish I could a typical young man and not look in the mirror and not like what I see looking back at me. I am often afraid of my own reflection, and avoid looking in the mirror on days like these. I wish I had a release that was able to work on a daily basis, but it's just not in the cards for me. Maybe the chains will slowly lose their grip and the light will sparkle at the end of the tunnel, and today will turn out good. I don't see it though.

Signed,
A scared young man.
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Old 11-21-2012, 11:14 AM   #10 (permalink)
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I've tried numerous medications. I didn't like how I felt on them, like a zombie. I've had inpatient care at one of the best psych hospitals in the southeast. I can't seem to find a happy medium no matter what route I go.

Last edited by GatorBoyInTN; 11-21-2012 at 11:17 AM.
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Old 11-21-2012, 11:18 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Dude, I don't even know what to say. You were one of the first people to ever really take the time to get to know me on this forum. I have valued the talks that we have had over the past few months. We've even just given each other cards for no reason at all, other than to just to say we care about each other. I consider you a true friend even though we have never met before. I love you man, no homo. Get yourself taken care of, please for your girl, your baby boy, and for you most of all.
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Old 11-21-2012, 11:20 AM   #12 (permalink)
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That is the problem I've heard many people say - they just don't like the way that the meds make them feel. So, what are the options? Is there another way that people that suffer from these things can help themselves, not through pharmaceuticals? Can this be effectively treated with therapy? Or is it purely biological and requires medicine?
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Old 11-21-2012, 11:22 AM   #13 (permalink)
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i still like ya, but i don't want to sell a gun to you anymore after reading this


but in all seriousness, if you are against Meds, find somebody to talk to. #@#@#@#@, if you want my number just ask.
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Old 11-21-2012, 11:38 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TrueNE_09 View Post
That is the problem I've heard many people say - they just don't like the way that the meds make them feel. So, what are the options? Is there another way that people that suffer from these things can help themselves, not through pharmaceuticals? Can this be effectively treated with therapy? Or is it purely biological and requires medicine?
They have little techniques that help sometimes, more often than not. The biggest issue with meds is they take weeks for the therapeutic effect to happen. Until it's reached, it's hell. Trust me.
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Old 11-21-2012, 11:41 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GatorBoyInTN View Post
They have little techniques that help sometimes, more often than not. The biggest issue with meds is they take weeks for the therapeutic effect to happen. Until it's reached, it's hell. Trust me.
that seems to be the common complaint...but, you've got to do something man...maybe check in to Marion for a while if it gets to be too bad...don't just ignore it if you start having really bad thoughts.
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Old 11-21-2012, 12:28 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Smoke a blizzy and turn up the pink floyd

Sorry about the troubles bud, we all go through it. Meds should be a last ditch effort, they don't always have the proper effect anyway. Just find something you like and abuse it like I do with xbox. Going to the gym a few times a week and runnin on the treadmill helps too
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Old 11-21-2012, 01:49 PM   #17 (permalink)
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I deal with high anxiety also. I was so bad one night I headed to the nearest
er and told them how I felt. They gave me just enough med to hold me over and got me hooked up to an MD. The med and the MD have help quite a bit
but it is just one day at a time.
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Old 11-21-2012, 02:00 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Keep on trying different anti-depressants, until you find one that helps. Find a doctor you can trust, and follow up with him.

Stay away from narcotics. If not, you will wind up with anxiety/depression, and a drug problem. Finding the root cause will help also. Have your doctor find a psychologist for you. Make sure it is a man.

My twenties were a nightmare. I am better now. You will be too.
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Old 11-21-2012, 02:27 PM   #19 (permalink)
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I also think you need to keep trying different antidepressants. They are trial and error until you hit the right one. I know it's hard waiting for it to start working,but you have to give it time. You will find it eventually. Talk therapy also helps alot. I am speaking from experience. I had to go on LOA from work this year for 3 months for the very same reasons. It will get better,believe me. Good luck,stay strong and make sure everyone knows that you're okay. You are obviously reaching for help by posting,which is great.
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Old 11-21-2012, 04:54 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Sounds like PTSD
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Old 11-21-2012, 05:50 PM   #21 (permalink)
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I am still praying for you Brother and have been since we talked the other night. Everyone has issues at one time or the other, stay the course and be confident!

Kevin
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Old 11-21-2012, 06:22 PM   #22 (permalink)
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I try to go to the gym and workout when I feel bad. It helps more often than not. PM me if you need to talk man. I am going through a lot right now and do know how you feel. Ive ben in the bottle again and doing stuff I said I would never do again. As hard as it may seem just keep your head up. You werehappy when you went to see your daughter. I say goodbye to my 2 girls every week to come down here to CO and run my company. Its harder and harder everytime I leave NE. I hope you get to feeling better man.
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Old 11-22-2012, 01:31 AM   #23 (permalink)
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Well i went through 12 hours of hell today at work. Come home and get in a fight with the girlfriend. It just never seems to end. I just want to go in a closet and scream my head off. I am seriously debating if there is any hope in my life.
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Old 11-22-2012, 01:41 AM   #24 (permalink)
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Always think about positives. We are put through trials to overcome them and become stronger.
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Old 11-22-2012, 08:45 AM   #25 (permalink)
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Maybe you should start to go to a bible believing church?! It really helped me out a great deal! I was in your shoes 15 years ago around the age of 14. I had wild depression, I was schizophrenic and really anxious about life, but a friend told me how I could have peace in knowing Jesus Christ as my savior!

My life changed 5 years ago and now I'm officially winding down my medication as I've been healed of my mental health struggles at the age of 29. My biggest struggle was letting go my fear of death. Eternal security in Jesus really helped things out a good deal and I was able to give that up.

My first suggestion to you though is what everyone else says: Get on Meds. Doctors put me on 3 MG of Risperdal for my Schizophrenia twice a day and it really helped things out a great deal.

There is hope for you, you just have to hang in there and eventually your hormones will settle out. You are becoming a man, and maturing in your body. You'll get used to these changes after a while.
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