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Old 12-22-2012, 08:15 PM   #1 (permalink)
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I have an aunt who is in her mid-40's. She is a single mother and has a 5 year old daughter. My dad is very involved in her life. My aunt likes to post ridiculous things on facebook like she has no family to help her, always is asking for babysitting (which I offer but she has only taken me up on several times), and is always looking for hand outs. 3 things happened recently that really bothered me and I want to call her out on them but don't want to create family drama.

1. She bought herself an iPad and my cousin an iPad mini. She also got toys for tots for her daughter. This frustrates me greatly because if she can afford both of those she clearly doesn't need toys for tots if she would have just used her money more wisely.

2. She recently joined a new church group for single parents and keeps making posts about not having any family to help her out and how lonely she is. My cousin had a holiday concert that she was a part of and said it would have been nice if she had family that cared enough to come. She neglected to tell any of us about it or else I would have gone. She got all these sympathy posts about it.

3. She made a facebook post about how she needed someone to take my cousin Christmas shopping to get a gift for my aunt. I offered to take her one night last week but my aunt declined because she wanted someone to take her during my aunt's hair appointment today. My dad takes my cousin shopping for my aunt every year and spends a good bit of his own money on her presents. It really frustrates me that she doesn't give my dad any credit and makes our family look bad.


I don't want to un-friend her on facebook because she would call my dad who would than call me. It would turn into drama I just don't want to deal with.

What would you do if you were me?
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Old 12-22-2012, 08:18 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Take out back and hit HER with a bat until it knocks some sense into her
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Old 12-22-2012, 08:20 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Take out back and hit HER with a bat until it knocks some sense into her
+1. Plus it would be fun.
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Old 12-22-2012, 08:23 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I would call her out on facebook and ask her to explain why she is saying all this...and all friends would swe the convo and end the pity party....but obviously you are a nice person and most likely wouldnt do this...but i would..and probably enjoy doing it.
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Old 12-22-2012, 08:24 PM   #5 (permalink)
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I would call her out on facebook and ask her to explain why she is saying all this...and all friends would swe the convo and end the pity party....but obviously you are a nice person and most likely wouldnt do this...but i would..and probably enjoy doing it.
I am actually trying to trick my brother into this very thing but he hasn't taken the bait yet. Neither of us want to deal with the aftermath that is my dad.
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Old 12-22-2012, 08:24 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Unfriend and avoid the drama. that being said got the same type of drama and I just ingore it as thats easier than dealing with the back lash.
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Old 12-22-2012, 08:24 PM   #7 (permalink)
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I'd speak up on one of her 'sympathy' posts. Not directly call her out but in a tactful way. I might do this a couple of times then, if she kept it up, I'd ultimately unfriend her because too me, I don't like logging on to FB and having to deal w/ stupid crap. Good luck.
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Old 12-22-2012, 08:29 PM   #8 (permalink)
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I can relate to that first post with my sister

It's gotten so bad that I honestly could care less if I didn't talk to her, but I have to because of my nieces. She complains about not having any money yet can afford to have an iPad, iPhone, and whatever else. She just recently said how if her boyfriends job goes well next winter she will quit her own job! (By the way, he's a landscapper who doesn't even work right now. Guy is a complete pile of crap).

Sorry to crowd your thread with nonsense
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Old 12-22-2012, 08:29 PM   #9 (permalink)
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I believe unfriending is the way to go. You don't want to injure the relationship with your Father over this mess.

Good luck!
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Old 12-22-2012, 08:30 PM   #10 (permalink)
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let me guess she also buys lobster with her food stamps
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Old 12-22-2012, 08:36 PM   #11 (permalink)
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I believe unfriending is the way to go. You don't want to injure the relationship with your Father over this mess.

Good luck!
I think this is the way to go also. The less you see of her posts,the less it will bother you. You don't want family problems ,especially during the holidays. Just my 2 cents...
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Old 12-22-2012, 08:38 PM   #12 (permalink)
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let me guess she also buys lobster with her food stamps
She has a steer that is being butchered in January because she likes meat from the butcher. I don't even want to know how much she paid for that.
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Old 12-22-2012, 08:42 PM   #13 (permalink)
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I would bring up the exact same things you brought up to us
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Old 12-22-2012, 08:43 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Unfortunately nothing you are going to say is going to change her actions. You would be wasting your time. A personality like hers would take years of counseling to help.

Would calling her out make you feel any better when you realize it didn't matter and you probably just gave her more ammunition to play victim.

Do what is best for the five year old and don't get caught up in trying to teach her principles or taking things personally. It doesn't matter if the mom thinks she wins or gets put in her place, what matters is the kid.
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Old 12-22-2012, 08:44 PM   #15 (permalink)
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No sense tip toeing around it, at the very least tell her if she wants pitty that's one thing but bashing family in the process is total bs... especially after what you told us
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Old 12-22-2012, 08:47 PM   #16 (permalink)
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She has a steer that is being butchered in January because she likes meat from the butcher. I don't even want to know how much she paid for that.
Typically this is much cheaper than buying it from the store in all honesty. But you need a place to store/freeze all of the meat.
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Old 12-22-2012, 09:00 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Typically this is much cheaper than buying it from the store in all honesty. But you need a place to store/freeze all of the meat.
I didn't realize that. I will have to look into it!
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Old 12-22-2012, 09:01 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Unfortunately nothing you are going to say is going to change her actions. You would be wasting your time. A personality like hers would take years of counseling to help.

Would calling her out make you feel any better when you realize it didn't matter and you probably just gave her more ammunition to play victim.

Do what is best for the five year old and don't get caught up in trying to teach her principles or taking things personally. It doesn't matter if the mom thinks she wins or gets put in her place, what matters is the kid.
Thank you for the reminder that it should be about my cousin. I can't change my aunt's behavior.
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Old 12-22-2012, 09:06 PM   #19 (permalink)
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I'd speak up on one of her 'sympathy' posts. Not directly call her out but in a tactful way. I might do this a couple of times then, if she kept it up, I'd ultimately unfriend her because too me, I don't like logging on to FB and having to deal w/ stupid crap. Good luck.
I'm not sure but id say this is the way to go, except the unfriend part, as that may be your only form of contact with her. I don't know.

Have you tried having a family conversation about this as well?
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Old 12-22-2012, 09:10 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Sounds like it's time to just delete Face Book™.
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Old 12-22-2012, 09:13 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Introduce her to Imac!
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Old 12-22-2012, 09:16 PM   #22 (permalink)
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I think the world would be a better place without facebook and twitter.

I would have already deleted the person from my facebook.
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Old 12-22-2012, 09:34 PM   #23 (permalink)
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You could use Facebook against her by doing some passive-aggressive postings yourself. Next time she says how no one comes to an event, post up "I would have loved to come if you'd let me know. Make sure you invite me next time, okay?" Or when she posts up about toys for tots or something, throw out a comment about her new ipad. "Glad to see money is better for you this year after buying your new ipad, congrats!"

She'll probably un-friend you first... Problem solved.
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Old 12-22-2012, 09:41 PM   #24 (permalink)
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Sounds like it's time to just delete Face Book™.
Gasp! How would I go on living without it?
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Old 12-22-2012, 09:58 PM   #25 (permalink)
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Gasp! How would I go on living without it?
Here's a scary thought: I've been on that site for over 7 and a half years now. It's like the child I wish I never had. Yikes.
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