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Old 01-07-2013, 09:16 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default The 2013 Blowoutcards Roast of jlzinck - recruitment thread

Good evening everybody,

I had an idea 2 years ago to put together a Roast of a prominent member of this community. So, I asked the person I thought would be the most fun to roast, and he said yes. So ladies and gentlemen, 2 years we roasted CaptainBOHICA. Last year we roasted Tyler.


That was then. And of course I had a great time with it, and wanted to bring it back and do it again this year. I talked to some people, and it has been decided that the guest of honor will be jlzinck.

Here is how it will work:
I am looking for volunteers to participate in the roast, if you are interested after you read all of the guidelines, please post below. I am trying to get 8-10 people to participate or more.

The final list or roasters will be able to make one Roast post in a future thread for the occassion. The people they will be allowed to roast in their post include, the guest of honor jlzinck, and anyone else who is on the final roasters roster, and nobody else. If a member is not roasting, they cannot be roasted.

All roasts must adhere to Blowoutcards guidelines for posts, and must not be in poor taste. The whole point of this is to be a little mean to each other however, in a way so that nobody take anything said about them overly serious. The whole point of this is to have fun.

I will post a list of volunteers and a Final list of roasters in this thread. And remember if you roast jlzinck here, he gets a chance to roast you back at the end of the roast. After the final list is determined a future time frame will be set up for it to begin so that everyone has time to write material about all participants.

Thanks everyone, let's have a good time with this, and do it in a way so that it does not give the administration here a reason to delete it.

The Roast will not happen for at least a month, giving everyone an opportunity to write material. Exact date, TBD.

Bonus to roasters this year in addition to jlzinck, I am going to allow for any jokes about Haiku or the BODA (Blowout Detective Agency).

Guest of Honor
jlzinck

Roasters
mmbtvs
ilovethelakings
37jetson
GoJays
redsoxx11
armyatc22
Clarka3
Dacubs
JohnMabry47
WilsonValdez
TheHeel

Last edited by mmbtvs; 01-20-2013 at 10:55 AM.
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Old 01-07-2013, 09:21 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Y would u roast someone u really gonna eat him.
I know that was a 1/10
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Old 01-07-2013, 09:21 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Jon, you really do not know what you have gotten yourself into, do you?
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Old 01-07-2013, 09:23 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Yeah, I'll give it a go, if you're interested.

I don't have to dress nicely, do I?
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Old 01-07-2013, 09:24 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GoJays View Post
Yeah, I'll give it a go, if you're interested.

I don't have to dress nicely, do I?
Black tie event. Of course we're all on the honor system on that.
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Old 01-07-2013, 09:28 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Black tie event. Of course we're all on the honor system on that.
All I've got is a vest with holes around the general nipple area. It's a nice vest, I mean, I think it's Calvenn Cleyenn (I couldn't afford Calvin Klein, so I bought a Chinese knock-off).

Lmk if this works.
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Old 01-07-2013, 09:28 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Imac, if you end up reading this, you need to join in on the fun and volunteer as a roaster. This is as good a time as any to just let go and give it to your nemesis as hard as you can.
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Old 01-07-2013, 09:29 PM   #8 (permalink)
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This should be really fun. The Tyler one was great.
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Old 01-07-2013, 09:52 PM   #9 (permalink)
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I believe an drug addicted, epileptic rhesus monkey could do a better job at roasting me than IMac could
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Old 01-07-2013, 09:54 PM   #10 (permalink)
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I believe an drug addicted, epileptic rhesus monkey could do a better job at roasting me than IMac could
You're right, I could. And I will.

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Old 01-07-2013, 09:59 PM   #11 (permalink)
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This should be very interesting!
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Old 01-07-2013, 10:06 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jlzinck View Post
I believe an drug addicted, epileptic rhesus monkey could do a better job at roasting me than IMac could
But being a roaster would make it possible to......I have said to much
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Old 01-07-2013, 10:13 PM   #13 (permalink)
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I'm in !
!!!!!!

oh and can we bring our computers to Zachary's and just do it there since he's got the "frequent champagne room card"
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Old 01-07-2013, 10:20 PM   #14 (permalink)
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I'm in !
!!!!!!

oh and can we bring our computers to Zachary's and just do it there since he's got the "frequent champagne room card"
You like women who braid their armpit hair. C'mon you can't hurt me.
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Old 01-07-2013, 10:21 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Jon, I am looking forward to this roast, but if you go into hiding after this roast I swear to God I will cash in all of my Pop Bottles and show up on your doorstep if you would be kind enough to tell me where you live.
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Old 01-07-2013, 10:32 PM   #16 (permalink)
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You like women who braid their armpit hair. C'mon you can't hurt me.
This from the guy who gets over served appletinis at the bar in a Chillies.....
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Old 01-07-2013, 11:18 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Quote:
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This from the guy who gets over served appletinis at the bar in a Chillies.....
Fellas, fellas, fellas.....save it for the roast
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Old 01-07-2013, 11:29 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Quote:
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Fellas, fellas, fellas.....save it for the roast
I've got a terrific one saved up for you sir. You'll be standing on your feet clapping when you hear it.
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Old 01-07-2013, 11:48 PM   #19 (permalink)
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This from the guy who gets over served appletinis at the bar in a Chillies.....
EASY on the "tini"
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Old 01-08-2013, 02:00 PM   #20 (permalink)
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I really do not like Jon from Masachussets (please don't report me for posting personal info). He lowballed me on a Wes Welker colored refractor
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Old 01-08-2013, 02:08 PM   #21 (permalink)
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I wouldn't mind getting a shot at Jon

I swear I won't be as bad as "The Situation" when he was on the roast on Comedy Central that was terrible!!!!
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Old 01-08-2013, 02:10 PM   #22 (permalink)
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Someday I hope to be funny enough to participate in one of these. For now, I'm just a man with a dream.
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Old 01-08-2013, 02:22 PM   #23 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 37Jetson View Post
Jon, I am looking forward to this roast, but if you go into hiding after this roast I swear to God I will cash in all of my Pop Bottles and show up on your doorstep if you would be kind enough to tell me where you live.
^^^^this

nice knowing ya jon!

Jetson, we don't do deposits here in AZ for soda or beer, so I'll have to do the cans for cash deal to help your cause.
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Old 01-08-2013, 02:50 PM   #24 (permalink)
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count me in!
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Old 01-08-2013, 05:17 PM   #25 (permalink)
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Good choice! It always has to be someone that's actaully known on the forums. My only question is Jon a rural white male? Also does he wear boxers or briefs? I'm assuming briefs M-Th, but banana hammock Fri-Sun.
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