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Old 01-10-2013, 01:38 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Funny things to do/say when telemarketers call

Interested to see what some of you have to say lol one I heard recently is give the phone to a young child and tell them its santa
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Old 01-10-2013, 01:50 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I don't answer the phone
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Old 01-10-2013, 01:53 PM   #3 (permalink)
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jerk it while they try to pitch you and make it obvious that you are.

they'll never call you again.
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Old 01-10-2013, 01:54 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I will turn the table and attempt to sell them something like Amway or Girl Scout Cookies for my daughter. It is quite effective. Try it some time.
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Old 01-10-2013, 01:56 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Depends on what they are calling for?

I sometimes put the hadset on speaker phone, listen to the speech and then say "Can you go over it one more time?" something along those lines.

Usually those are to fundraisers who are looking for $$ for something I do not support.

The called once and asked for me and I yelled out "MOOOOOOOOOM..Is dad out f*&%ing his girlfriend?
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Old 01-10-2013, 01:59 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Racist & sexist jokes and generally pissing the other guy/gal the f**k off is the best.
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Old 01-10-2013, 01:59 PM   #7 (permalink)
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or you can handle it like this guy

Tom Mabe - Telemarketer Prank Call Murder Scene on the Bob and Tom Show (Scipt).avi - YouTube
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Old 01-10-2013, 02:36 PM   #8 (permalink)
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my favorite!!

seinfeld telemarketing.avi - YouTube
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Old 01-10-2013, 02:37 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Talk to them in spanish, and lots of times they say they are going to transfer me to the spanish call center, right then i say "ok, thanks bro!" And hang up.
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Old 01-10-2013, 05:19 PM   #10 (permalink)
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I pick up the phone and immediately try to sound like a cow in labor. I figured it would be scary sounding but both kids laugh so I guess it isn't frightening.
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Old 01-10-2013, 05:36 PM   #11 (permalink)
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cVlTeIATBs
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Old 01-10-2013, 05:45 PM   #12 (permalink)
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My mother in her infinite wisdom would always ramble on with them for 15-20 minutes, or until they hung up.

I personally rip into them, insult them and their families, call them corrupt communist pigs, and hang up the phone. They never call back.
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Old 01-10-2013, 06:19 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Here's what I do. Very politely I ask them... "Is it OK if I say no?" or "Do you mind if I say no?" That way it puts it on them.

1. If they say Yes, which they usually do, then I say thanks and hang up.
2. If they say No, I say Really? That's not very nice! and I hang up.

Either way, I hang up without being rude.
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Old 01-10-2013, 06:23 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 37Jetson View Post
I will turn the table and attempt to sell them something like Amway or Girl Scout Cookies for my daughter. It is quite effective. Try it some time.
I do this.
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Old 01-10-2013, 06:28 PM   #15 (permalink)
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I usually walk into the bathroom, turn on the fan, turn the phone on speaker and proceed to make noises (or actively) to churn out a nice bowl painter. I haven't had anyone last over a minute or 2 for quite awhile. Before I moved into my house I had a guy play along enough that I made a comment about pooping a hemorrhoid with blood everywhere and proceeded to hang up.
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Old 01-10-2013, 06:29 PM   #16 (permalink)
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I put them on speaker and keep doing whatever I was doing.
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Old 01-10-2013, 06:38 PM   #17 (permalink)
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I tell them I'm not interested and shut the phone because they have a job to do, and I do not want to waste their time just as I don't want them wasting mine.
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Old 01-10-2013, 06:58 PM   #18 (permalink)
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I tell them to SUCK IT !!!!
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Old 01-10-2013, 06:59 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Quote:
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I tell them to SUCK IT !!!!
suck what?
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Old 01-10-2013, 07:06 PM   #20 (permalink)
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suck what?
richard....
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Old 01-10-2013, 07:08 PM   #21 (permalink)
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I stop them and say "I'll take whatever you're selling but I don't have a bank account or credit so you have to personally come pick up the money from me, but it has to be you and you HAVE to come alone."
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Old 01-10-2013, 08:23 PM   #22 (permalink)
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Quote:
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Tom Mabe is hilarious. I think my favorite of his is the presidential fundraiser.
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Old 01-10-2013, 09:06 PM   #23 (permalink)
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Way back, one called at where I was working. I remember getting a couple of the other guys to just start yelling and I told whoever it was that the damn alligator got out of it's cage and bit one of them on the leg... what should I do? They just hung up.
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Old 01-10-2013, 09:21 PM   #24 (permalink)
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I do one of 3 things, depending on what mood I'm in:

1.) Sometimes I just pick up the phone and lay it down without saying a word and come back in a few minutes and hang it up.

2.) Sometimes I pick the phone up, say "No thanks" before they get a word in and hang up.

3.) Sometimes I quietly listen to their spiel and when they are done I ask them for their home phone number so that I may call and bother them at all hours of the day. Works every time!
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Old 01-10-2013, 11:13 PM   #25 (permalink)
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I usually start speaking in tounges and start chanting really loudly. Works every time. On occasion I will use my cookie monster voice and that has worked for me as well.

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