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Old 03-28-2013, 04:23 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default The official Roast of jlzinck thread! NSFW

Okay folks, this is coming up pretty soon, so this will be the official thread for the proceedings, but I gotta get some formalities out of the way first.

First of all to all the nonroasters out there please help us out here by adhering to the following guidelines:


IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED STOP READING NOW


You can comment and participate in the thread but I ask that you please refrain from joining the roast. Everyone had a chance to volunteer to participate at the beginning. In the interest of fairness the roasters are not allowed to pick on you, so I would expect you all to respect the roasters and all the hardwork they have put into this.

Guidelines for the roasters:
You can only roast the people on the volunteer list posted below. Special permissions have been given out on specific jokes on some members, but that is an exception, not the rule. Please keep jokes in as good a taste as possible, and at a PG-13 level.

jlzinck will wait until all roasters have presented and then he will be able to roast all the roasters.


The list of participants is as follows:

Guest of Honor
jlzinck

Roasters
mmbtvs
ilovethelakings
37jetson
GoJays
redsoxx11
Clarka3
Dacubs
JohnMabry47
WilsonValdez
TheHeel

armyatc22 was on the list to be a roaster but had to drop out. Please feel free to roast him irregardlessly.

I will act as host and will present first on April 1st. The rest of the Roasters can proceed thereafter as time allows for them to do so, to be complete by April 2nd.

Thank you, and happy Roasting, everyone!

Last edited by mmbtvs; 03-25-2014 at 04:28 PM.
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Old 03-28-2013, 05:33 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Can't wait, I had fun doing it last time
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Old 03-28-2013, 05:41 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Will there be any jokes about rope?

Probably knot.
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Old 03-28-2013, 06:16 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tamar3504 View Post
Will there be any jokes about rope?

Probably knot.
Hahahahaha
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Old 03-28-2013, 06:22 PM   #5 (permalink)
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subscribed! woot
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Old 03-28-2013, 07:25 PM   #6 (permalink)
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I'm easily offended. Do you have any recommendations for someone like myself who might accidentally read the crap that will be posted here?
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Old 03-28-2013, 07:36 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ilovethelakings View Post
I'm easily offended. Do you have any recommendations for someone like myself who might accidentally read the crap that will be posted here?
That's an easy one; You can do just as WilsonValdez does....Block yourself
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Old 03-30-2013, 09:05 PM   #8 (permalink)
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As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."

She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
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Old 03-30-2013, 10:53 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Due to a change in my schedule (I have to be at work at 6am on monday), I am going to start the Roast tomorrow. Anyone who wants to post their set that day can. Anyone who wants to wait until Monday is more than welcome to.
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Old 03-31-2013, 12:11 AM   #10 (permalink)
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i've got mine ready. i'll post it tomorrow after I spend lunch with the fam.
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Old 03-31-2013, 12:31 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mmbtvs View Post
Due to a change in my schedule (I have to be at work at 6am on monday), I am going to start the Roast tomorrow. Anyone who wants to post their set that day can. Anyone who wants to wait until Monday is more than welcome to.
Well that sucks...now my jokes are going to even older and staler
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Old 03-31-2013, 01:09 AM   #12 (permalink)
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btw- johnmabry hasn't posted since last october.
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Old 03-31-2013, 01:28 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Quote:
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btw- johnmabry hasn't posted since last october.
But he has been on. Maybe he just has had much to say
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Old 03-31-2013, 01:31 AM   #14 (permalink)
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But he has been on. Maybe he just has had much to say
that would be utter dedication to volunteer to be a roaster and then go absolutely MIA until the roast to keep your back door clean.

it's tough getting material on him.
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Old 03-31-2013, 02:42 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Will there be any jokes about rope?

Probably knot.
I was told by our host that we could not make any jokes about any holes in the ground. Oh well.
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Old 03-31-2013, 08:35 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Once again I’d like to thank everyone who has a greed to participate including our wonderful guest of honor Mr. Zinck. Let the roasting begin.



Of course one of our classic roasters ilovethelakings is here. Something you may not know about him. He’s trying to raise his children to be just like him. Yeah. That’ll lead to a lot of success in life. They’ll all be 40 somethings who barely work getting government money spending 20 hours a day on a sports card website. Why don’t you spray them in the eyes with bleach and get them started on a meth habit while you’re at it.

Then of course we have 37jetson. He’s named after his hero George Jetson. Really it’s just a way to liveout his childhood fantasy to get Astro to lick his balls.

GoJays is here. He’s a huge bjs supporter. Giving and receiving. He has a catchphrase most of you may not know about. “My face is covered in victory.”

Redsoxx11 is the only board member that I’ve had the pleasure of meeting in person. He confided in me that the two x’s are for how many times his (now) ex wife fooled around on him. Way to celebrate it instead of wallowing in it. Now he himself is a womanizer. Seriously how many abortions have you talked women into?

armyatc22 had signed up to be here and committed. But unfortunately he got a better offer elsewhere and decided to be there instead. Wow, Deja vu.

Clarka3 - The ubernerd. What can I possibly say about a man who likes masterbation more than sex. Moving on…..

Dacubs, how do you even manage to get up in the morning? I get depressed even saying your name. How do you not open a vein every time you look at the local sports page.

Then there is JohnMabry47. His own name is his favorite way to answer questions. Did you sleep with my daughter? Mabry. Did you give her the clap? Mabry. Are you on Megan’s List? Mabry.

What can I say about WilsonValdez? There is a consensus among most of the board members that if only we could collectively replace him with a different sexist, racist, homophobic troll, the world would be a better place.

Then there is theHeel. Most of you probably think his name refers to him considering himself the bad guy. Not true. It refers to his secret foot fetish. Seriously, never leave him alone in a room with a pair of your shoes. And no, that’s not lotion, although oddly enough, it is incredibly good for your skin.


Which brings us to our guest of honor, jlzinck. The red headed step child of Blowout. King of the Gingers. If stalking was a pc, you would be featured in Beckett. What do you call a man who loves other people’s children but hates his own? We all call him Zinck. He’s a man who pleasures himself while staring at his junk in a mirror. A compact mirror. And why does he need a mirror? Because he loves sandwiches and pasta. Don’t worry Jon, I’ll come visit you in jail when the police finally find out about that hooker buried in your backyard. I don’t even blame you for blurting it out at work accidentally when you were trying to sexually harass another one of your coworkers. Those things will happen from time to time. Not to anyone but you. But that’s the reason we love you.

Thank you once again Jon for not only agreeing to be this years guest of honor, but for being here on the boards, and of course for being a great friend.

Alright boys, brutalize him.
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Old 03-31-2013, 12:20 PM   #17 (permalink)
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(posting now since we're doing late stuff as a family. This is best looked at with Anthony Jeselnik in mind)

I’m sorry I was late. I got stuck at the door pulling when it was clearly marked ‘Push’. So Jon, at least you’re not the only one. Took me a few hours to figure out though since I didn’t have a helpful coworker to rectify my problem. I imagine it would have taken you the same amount of time.

We’re here to honor one of my favorite members here today, JLZinck. But first, I must mention my fellow roasters: You are all the most pathetic group of people I’ve ever had the luck of encountering. And by luck, you know I mean bad luck. By the way, I was recently warned by the mods to cut my name-calling way down, but I am totally willing to take a vacation to really have at you sorry lot.

I was going to make fun of WillyV for having such a low iTrader for this event, but GoJays takes the cake on that one. What do you do all day on here? Talk about cards? Oh, that’s right, you “support the least popular political party, religion, and you dislike popular athletes. Also, you support shilling”. Your words, just paraphrased.

JohnMabry47 has been MIA for quite a while. Perhaps he went back to training for the bigs to squeeze out those 4 more homers he needs to reach 100. Considering most of his post history appears in the member feedback section, that might not be a bad thing for BO Cards.

At least he isn’t considering changing his name to Derek like TheHeel. After Jon’s story about his not-ugly coworker with the tramp stamp tat, TheHeel is looking for any chance to score.

Too bad armyatc22 took the wrong moral from that little gem and decided to get a ‘Derek’ tramp stamp. Don’t bend over in a small shirt at the gym, buddy.

That’s still not as bad as WillyV’s take on that story when he decided to get a ‘Imac’ tramp stamp tat. Perhaps we should have Broncomanning give you a call to tell you what a bad idea that would be since you seem to take him at face value each time he posts or has drama.

Redsoxx, I was having a hard time thinking of anything to make fun of you about, because you are just too damn pathetic. LONG PAUSE. Oh, that’s all. Actually, it isn’t. How did you get chosen to be a roaster? Oh, that’s right, Corbin just asked for volunteers. You are proof that we need a better screening process.

Speaking of pathetic, I hear Dacubs is now in the illustrious company of PTF and many other “outstanding members” that have posted a “taking a break” or “leaving the hobby” thread. Clearly a winner right there, folks.

37Jetson’s signature is for hire I hear. Money must be so tight lately that he’s even got to whore out his signature space to make ends meet? At least you can finagle a free “vacation” by just mentioning that I May be A Cunt in some way shape or form in that space.

As the roaster with the leading post count here, I felt that I had to leave ilovethelakings for close to the end. I was going to leave him off the list entirely, but let’s be honest, he would have posted about 10 times complaining about why I didn’t make fun of him. 10k+ posts! How do you get that high? Do you have a life? I can’t get the image of Tommy Wiseau out of my head when I try to imagine your mannerisms. (Go check out ‘The Room’ if you are unfamiliar with the level of that burn).

And lastly, Corbin. I have a hard time making fun of you because you are indeed one of my favorites on here. And that is in no way, shape, or form directly related to you giving me the Bengals in a free multi-box break. It would be interesting to see what kind of community this place would be without you in it. Long PauseNo, seriously. Sadly, you love the attention and adoration of the Blowout masses and won’t just poof like an iMac thread.

And finally, we come to the man of the hour: Jon. It’s hard to make fun of you and actually mean it… No, wait, I lied. I’ve contemplated sending you a new plate to hang on your wall so I would have something different to look at when you do your live breaks. I’m just getting tired of the same old stuff in the background to distract me from your ugly mug. Perhaps I can enter a giveaway from sdoug and send you what I win, except that we know how that one ended with you, so that’s out. We could always ask Jeremy from Florida for suggestions or donations, but that would most likely end up with something obscene since we all know how much he loves you. Maybe I’ll join Twitter and create a hashtag for this very mission and then annoyingly retweet everything so your feed can blow up some more. Maybe next time you get pulled into HR you can ask them for new plate suggestions. Seriously, change it up.

But in all seriousness, you are one of the greats of BO. You are generally very helpful and I always see you running contests for a free spot in a box break, which is what this place is all about. And raising around 800 bucks for Team Connor? That’s outstanding work right there, and a great example of what this community would be without all the scammers and riff-raff. I was truly honored to be allowed to join in, and look forward to sticking it out for the long haul with you and most of my fellow roasters at BO.
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Old 03-31-2013, 01:06 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Pretty good you guys !!!!, Corbin destroyed army lol
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Old 03-31-2013, 01:41 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Thank you degenerates for the opportunity to set things straight…..

Redsoxx11 has returned from witness relocation a changed and politically neutered man. All of the pedicures that he performed in obscurity on Michelle Obama and Janet Reno have left him with an uncharacteristic indifference to Blowout Boards political discussions. Kind of like Dogs and Cats sleeping together for real. He has gone so far off the liberal reservation that he now wakes up with a smile after having the dream that he was walking hand in hand with Ann Coulter in the Hamptons.

Wilson Valdez is suspended more than light hitting AA infielders from the Dominican Republic doing PED’s. 2013 marks his move away from calling every living thing a douchebag. He calmly waited for his 5,000 blowout post to proclaim his love for Corbin (MMBTVS). Wilson found the line to Corbin’s well formed dumper much longer than he desired so he has decided to troll harder than ever before.

GoJays proudly hails from our neighbor to the north, Canada. Forty years ago the rest of the world started passing Canada by in Hockey, the country had to collectively embrace the one sport that they were good at, curling. Now that home grown Canadian entertainment seems to have gone the way of the dinosaur, the biggest thing in GoJays life is the hope that the Snoop Dog Concert really comes to Ottawa this summer. Until then GoJays will be our personal correspondent about Pop Music, The Oscars and American Idol, not that there is anything wrong with that.

The only chance of the Los Angeles Kings being Stanley Cup Champions for two straight years was dashed by the NHL Players returning to work. IlovetheLA Kings’ other great love in his life is Star Wars. In fact he and Andew (Clarka3) dress up as C3PO and R2DU every year at ComicCon. Their best bit is when LA, dressed as C3PO, says to Clarka3, dressed as R2D2, that he is a geek. Clarka3 snaps back “am not” and LA says “R2”. Ah, nothing like the silence of a joke that really bombed.

Andrew (Clarka3) lives in Cincinnati, the most sexually repressed town in America. The last straight single Cincinnatian to get laid without paying for it in Covington was Dr. Johnny Fever. I did some detective work on Andrew’s Thread requesting other Blowout Members to meet for Tacos on the North Side. Gaytranslator.com says this offer comes with a Dutch Treat Taco Meal and I was too embarrassed to read any further. Andrew your secret is safe with me, but I would not suggest moving to the Westside of Cincinnati with that baggage.

Let me start by saying that I am glad that Armyatc22 found away to hang around after Resalegate. It has provided some interesting entertainment over the past year and a punching bag that Mother Theresa would have taken a couple of swings at without putting down the orphan that she was carrying in her other arm.

JohnMabry47 is such a St. Louis Cardinals fan that he uses Chicago Cubs cards as his emergency stash of toilet paper when his work duties take him to India. Here in America JohnMabry47 is the closest thing to a Blowout Board Saint that I can think of, but few know of his twisted sense of humor that he takes out on the people of India by collecting Panini Stickers of the Pakistan National Cricket Team.

Dacubs has become concerned with how much money he has been spending lately on sportscards. If I was him I would spend some of that money on Latino Hookers, Blow and White Castle Hamburgers. Instead of buying pieces of cardboard with pictures of men, try investing in a few things that every grown man and Ron Labo need to make it through the day.

TheHeel is known for typing with one hand any time a Beyonce song comes on the radio. His attempts to use Beyonce in marketing his cards have been an abject failure. The YouTube video “If you like a card you better put a bid on it” was a bad idea for promoting his business made only worse by adding Hog, Captain Bohica and Corbin (MMBTVS) as the backup dancers.

If Corbin (MMBTVS) is God’s gift to comedy then I want to make sure that I receive no blessings of the sort. He took attention away this year from his fledgling comedy act by starting a dating your wife thread. When our Friend Corbin finally put the puck in the net most people had already moved on to collecting POGS, but the few of us that stayed celebrated like it was 1999. One of the Senior Members of Blowout Cards getting laid is truly a newsworthy event. While I am depressing myself I find it necessary to switch gears……

2012 created the need for a special crime fighting force to figure out the Haiku Scam. Instead of a crew that Elliott Ness could be proud of, The Blowout Boards birthed BODA (Blowout Detective Agency) who collectively could not discover their own Schmeckel with a GPS and a magnifying glass. The BODA was so ineffective that they would not be able to find the difference between Lindsay Lohan’s carpet and her curtains. The BODA was so worthless that they have all been offered executive moderator positions at SCF. BODA was so dumb that they tried to drown a fish and I am not talking about Robert (iluvfish2). Like any good pop culture group they are certain to re-unite to solve the next major Blowout Scam.

Our guest of honor Jon is in the middle of sorting eight cases of 1988 Score Baseball because he was not man enough to shatter the glass tube that he put in his Uretha. Ever since Dunkin Donuts, a true Boston Institution, took trans fat out of their cooking oil, our friend Jon’s performance has been impacted in numerous ways. Since he is a “Senior Member” of Blowout Boards we are all obligated to do exactly as he says and does. Jon is the wind beneath many man skirts around here. As a leader of the Blowout Dweebs Jon is doing a knockout job of getting us to do his dirty work. Just how many Grooms of the Stools does Jon require? All Jon has to do is whisper Big Dig in their ears and they are chowder in his spoon.

Speaking of narcissists…..it ain’t gonna happen. Yall are great. Please do not forget to tip your waitresses and bar staff.
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Old 03-31-2013, 08:32 PM   #20 (permalink)
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HA!

and i thought i was getting mean
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Old 03-31-2013, 08:40 PM   #21 (permalink)
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I still need a drink or five in me before I get up on the dais. Who does a guy need to blow to get an appletini around here?
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Old 03-31-2013, 09:00 PM   #22 (permalink)
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I still need a drink or five in me before I get up on the dais. Who does a guy need to blow to get an appletini around here?
ilovethelakings, but you didn't hear it from me.
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Old 03-31-2013, 09:04 PM   #23 (permalink)
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ilovethelakings, but you didn't hear it from me.
I guess that is going to make things difficult for me then. Two drinks down. At least three more to go. Maybe then my set will seem semi funny to me at the very least. Good God, what is this crap I've written so far? What the hell is a jizzleneck?!?
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Old 03-31-2013, 09:09 PM   #24 (permalink)
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What the hell is a jizzleneck?!?
It's that you receive at the glory hole.
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Old 04-01-2013, 11:51 AM   #25 (permalink)
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First off, just let me say thank you to all the participants in this year’s roast, even the unfunny ones. You guys already know who you are, but I will still give you all an E for effort. If any of my fellow roasters or our guest of honor gets butt hurt because of any of my jokes, I am sure WilsonValdez can give you the name of a good ointment that can help you with your bleeding rectum.

Many of you know Jon from his tireless work organizing last year’s Secret Santa event. Most of you applauded him for all the time and effort it took for him to collect and distribute each person’s information in order to make sure the whole affair went down without a hitch. Yet what all of you do not know is that he had his own diabolical ulterior reason for acting as the event’s organizer. The real reason he really wanted to that particular position was to get other folks’ home addresses so that he could have magazine subscriptions sent to their homes. I have to say, that he did choose well when it came to the mag he had sent my way. You just can’t go wrong with Luscious Latina Booties. However, I do not think that Clarka3 appreciated you sending him a subscription to Queertopia…..especially since he has already been receiving that particular magazine for the past 7 years. Next time, hook him up with a subscription to Glory Hole Weekly instead. He’s tired of having to borrow worn out and sticky copies of it from redsoxx11.

Speaking of the holiday season, it’s time for a fun fact! After years of begging and pleading, Mrs. Zinck finally decided to give into her husband’s kinky request this past Christmas and granted Jon his solitary holiday wish: anal sex with his wife. It was a monumental occasion around the Zinck household for not only our guest of honor, but for his lovely wife as well. It was the first time either of them ever participated in any type of backdoor action. It was also the first time Jon’s wife ever used a 12 inch strap-on with her husband. Jon walked like a cowboy for two weeks after that oh so tender event.

While I am on the topic of big ol’ dildos, I guess it is about time that I acknowledge JohnMabry47. If you are expecting a hilarious zinger about him, please be prepared to be disappointed. I’m going to ignore him just like he has ignored the forum for the past few months, so that is all I really have to say about that veiny, rubber object of sexual pleasure.

It’s great to see that we are joined by TheHeel this year. It pains me to do so, but I have to break it to everyone that he is not what you would call a learned individual. As a child, he had no formal schooling of any type outside of his home. Even though his parents had him homeschooled by two of Asia’s most well-known teachers, Sam Sung and So Ny, he ended up dumber than an old Apple computer. In fact, it hurt my heart when I had to be the one to break it to him that Febru-any is not a real month. He was truly saddened to learn that neither was Shocktober.

I am willing to bet that only a few people knew that our gracious host, Corbin, grew up on a farm. That’s right….a farm. Just like any farm boy, he was assigned various chores to do around the homestead. He had to collect the eggs from the henhouse each morning. He had to slop the pigs. His favorite thing to do though was to milk the family cow. At first he did not care for that chore because it was forced upon him by one of his older brothers; however, he quickly mastered the skill and came to enjoy doing it, especially because he always ended up with a fresh glass of lukewarm milk to enjoy after each milking. He became so into milking that bovine that he ended up doing it up to five times a day, and of course, he downed a glass of milk after each time he did it. It was not until much later in life did Corbin learn from his parents that they never had a cow. Nowadays, he returns to the family farm each summer to spend a few quality days with that bull. And during those few days, Jon cries silently to himself knowing that his little Corby Pooh is enjoying himself with a larger, hairier, and significantly better hung beast.

It’s great to see that 37jetson has joined us for this occasion. I’ve got to ask everybody something. Am I the only one who starts humming “Meet George Jetson” every time I see his username? Seriously, I cannot think of a single time that I have not done that since taking notice of him here on the forum. Heck, I even picture him as looking like good ol’ George. I am just glad he didn’t go with his first choice of usernames, 37savedbythebell; otherwise, I would always picture him as Screech. However, that would probably be a more accurate representation of what the ugly SOB looks like in real life. I am sure Jon probably wishes he would had went with 37fullhouse so that he would always be reminded of his first hardcore celebrity man crush, Dave Coulier. Cut….it….out.

Well, well, well, speaking of less than talented Canadians, it looks like GoJays has joined our merry band of roasters this year. You know what that means, right? I’ll have to type this next joke super slowly so that he can hopefully understand it better. Are you ready, GoJays? I’ll give you a moment to catch up. It’s been fifteen minutes already. Tic toc, tic toc. I can’t keep waiting for you to catch up and get to this point in the roast, so I have to continue for the more intelligent, meaning American, roasters and viewers. GoJays is a big ice hockey fan and more importantly he is one odd mo’fo’. He is the only person I have ever had the displeasure of knowing who refers to the sexual acts he has engaged in by using hockey terminology. He’s been known to scream out high stick me, go five hole, put the biscuit in the basket, and check me from behind while in the middle of coitus, or at least that is what Jon told me GoJays kept yelling out during one of their shared moments of passion. I am not saying that Jon is gay. He is far from it, but he is easily confused when he is drunk. Canucks, like GoJays, tend to be pretty effeminate, so even the straightest of red-blooded American men, such as jizzyneck, could easily mistake one of the males from the Great White North as being a chick while wearing a pair of beer goggles.

armyatc22, I am truly surprised that you decided to join this roast, especially with some of the crap you have pulled in the past. There are quite a few things that I could poke fun at when it comes to you. I…WILL…NOT go that route though because it is much too obvious and vicious. With that said, I just wanted to let you know publicly that I appreciate the money that you sent me to write an extra cruel quip all about you; however, I have to admit something that may make me look like a major douche bag. At the last moment, WilsonValdez offered me more money to use his name in that particular joke instead, so I decided to accept his cash and I returned your money to you. It was hard not to pass up an extra Andrew Jackson! No hard feeling, okay GI Jane? I can’t promise that I won’t write another joke just for you and sell it to another person or ask you for more money for it. Then again, you could always send me another 200 or so bucks and we will sea…..um……C…..er…..see. That’s it….see.

Time for another fun fact, boys and girls! Did you guys know that our own rascally little WilsonValdez is a recovering pedophile? Now I do not want you to judge the guy too harshly because he really has tried to his best to turn his life around and not touch poor, little, doe-eyed defenseless children. In fact, he just earned is 2 year “no-touch” chip from PA. WillyV has not caressed, stroked, nuzzled, fondled or groped a single boy in more than 24 months, but before you guys start congratulating him on his achievement you should all know something. Just because he has not molested a minor in as of late doesn’t mean that he hasn’t let a male minor manhandle, or should it be boyhandle, him. I take back what I just said. Those 24 months probably should be celebrated because they are about 23 months and 22 or so days longer than Jon has ever gone without enjoying a little NAMBLA approved man-boy love during the past decade.

Time to move on to one of the forum’s most gifted members. I am of course referring to our long suffering member, Dacubs. Dacubs isn’t the type of person you would ever believe was someone full of talents, but he is damn well is. When he was 10 years old, he was already masturbating at a twelfth grade level. He is an innovator in the realm of self pleasuring. Over time, he has developed a way to whack off in a world record speed that he has nicknamed “The Shotgun”. The technique involves a single pump, chick chick, and kaboom!!! It’s all over in mere seconds. When he is with a partner, he calls his technique “The Salty Suicide”, since most of its recipients receive a blast to the face. At least, that is what Jon told me Dacubs called it right before taking a shot to the head himself. Good times……good times.

Anyone who has gotten to know jzlinck has come to know that he has nothing against working hard for what he wants in life. For example, when he was a younger gentleman, he often would take the unwanted positions at work to get ahead in life. The boss needed someone to fulfill a position as a janitor, Jon would do it. A temporary secretary was needed, Jon would do it. Someone needed to work the line in the cafeteria, Jon would do. However, there was one position that the boss once asked Jon to take that he refused take. What was that position you ask? Well, the position was that of his boss’s power top. Those who have had the pleasure of making Jon’s acquaintanceship know that he could never take that position. He actually is more of a power bottom type of man. “It’s more fulfilling to host a party than to simply come as a guest” is his personal credo. And Lord knows that he has hosted quite a few parties during his lifetime.

And lastly, I would like to finish up my set be giving a shout out to manmadeofsteel. I know he isn’t on the official list of roasters, but the poor little bastard begged and pleaded with me to use his name at least once during my set. So now that you’ve been mentioned, can you please ignore me on a daily basis for this moment on just like you do your own personal hygiene?

Thank you everybody and please be sure to leave me iTrader if you enjoyed the exchange of my jokes for your laughs. And if you neg me, I swear to baby Jesus, I will retaliate on your ass ten fold.
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Looking for A&G sized minis and Topps Olympic relics, pins, etc. for my daughter and refractors for my son
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